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Love between two people without the input of God's word is very limited and is based on emotions, desires and feelings. As we grow up, we learn to love by watching others. We all believe we know how to express love but this is a human type of love, which is not stable like godly love. When giving human love we alter it to fit how we feel at the moment. Then we can't understand why our relationships don't work! Although, we all have feelings and emotions linked to love, those attributes to human life are self-centered.
Stability in a relationship is difficult to establish between two people who base the love they give on their own personal emotions. There are no rules or even guidelines to follow so the standard of love they give is altered as they go through changes. These alterations can be measured in time anywhere from moments to years and the causes can be as diverse as environment changes, health issues or problems of any kind, even if those problems are within their own personality such as anger or mood swings. Love based on emotion is why some relationships revolve daily in a wide range, everything from passion to hate, intimacy to revenge.
Human love produces doubt or fear in the other person in the relationship. Godly love has standards set in the Bible by a God who never changes. When you give godly love to a person on any level, such as a child, husband, boyfriend, neighbor or coworker, etc., they can be assured that your love will be true according to the type of relationship the two of you have. Most people, feel a sense of safety, due to the love of God, in a firm Bible based relationship where even they have a set of rules to check if they desire. Satan has lost many of his best people because someone showed then the true love that God will put in the heart of a human being.
Even if we, who try to follow God's ways, make mistakes everyone affected by that mistake has an opportunity to adjust because of the stability that God has laid out for us in the Bible. A relationship with biblical rules teaches each person what's expected of them for the relationship to grow as well as how they should respond when problems occur. There are times people don't want a relationship because godly love brings them under conviction. But when they really need something they will humble themselves and go to the person they can get an honest answer from, someone who uses God's standards.
There are four different types of earthly or human love.
1. Love - implies intense fondness or deep devotion.
2. Affection - suggests warm, tender feelings, usually not as powerful or deep as those implied by love.
3. Attachment - implies connection by ties of affection, attraction, devotion, etc.
4. Infatuation - implies a foolish or unreasoning passion or affection, often a transient or not permanent.
The main problem of developing a relationship based on emotion is when that person does something that is uncomfortable to the other, feelings in the relationship change. Two people can start a relationship with infatuation. Feelings can move that relationship up the list until it reaches love with total devotion, such as in a marriage. However, when there is no supernatural strength, coming from a godly set of values or rules, feelings can change very easily. Our divorce rate in this country proves it.
Many of today's relationships are based on selfishness or "what's in it for me; expecting the other person to fulfill some inflated fantasy they have in their mind. People who don't know God's standard for giving and receiving love move in and out of relationships with standards provided by the sinful nature that has existed in the world since the fall of Adam and Eve.
Godly love between two people is something that grows. Two people meet and are attracted to each other; but it's only with dignity (self-worth or honor) and respect (consideration for one's reputation, your own as well as the other person's) that the relationship will be truly stable. A lack of discretion from either person in a relationship is basically like the woman described in the scripture:
Proverbs 11:22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
A person without discretion is degraded and will corrupt or lower the moral character of the other person. God's love is pure and holy between two people and creates a bond that will last throughout eternity.
God is the creator of passion, however He set the boundaries to exist within a marriage between a man and a woman. He has never changed his law. The New Testament is full of scriptures that prove the law of moral behavior is still the same today by God's standards, even though most of society now has very little moral values controlling their daily lives.
Hebrews 13:7-8 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. (This represents any of the godly men and women in the Bible.) Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever
God is Love (1John 4:16). That is how He has described himself in the Bible. God extends to us a different form of love than the lust we see so much of today. It's a supernatural love that doesn't have the weaknesses that human love has. It's continual, stable and unconditional. It's righteous and honorable, given with respect and integrity.
God loves every person ever born equally, even though He hates the sin they may be involved in. He desires to express that love in a close relationship with every individual through our salvation in Jesus. God's greatest desire since He created Adam is for us to know Him and be close to Him. Therefore, he had the Bible written by His Spirit to men who He felt were qualified because of their relationship; first the Old Testament with men that knew Him and then the New Testament with men that knew his Son.
2 Peter 1:20-21 Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.
God made an opportunity for us to enter into the same loving relationship with Him that He once had with Adam, through a new covenant in Jesus Christ, God's one and only Son. (John 3:18) When we take that opportunity we benefit by being established in the greatness of His love. God loves everyone but Eternal Truth, the Fruit of the Spirit, and all the Promised Blessings for Obedience belong to those that do His will. God increases His love in us as we put His scriptures into our hearts. The Bible is revelation from God's heart for His will in our lives to do us good and give us peace and joy.
Our part is to learn His ways with a desire to do them, even when it seems to be impossible. When we make the first step He rushes in with strength and understanding to help us, creating a new Christ-like life according to His will. It's superior to how we learn things taught by people. They can't teach us from the inside with strength and power. Many people are under the impression that we have to do all the work, changing ourselves into religious people. Not so, we just have to study His Word to find out what belongs to us as His children and what we have to do to get it; then pray for help. We have the easy part and since God is only out to do us good, and not harm us, we must be diligent to receive all the wonderful blessings that are available to us. It's all about building a relationship with the Lord.
The only difference between being raised by a good earthly father and our heavenly Father is when we are willing to cooperate, to make our life better His way, He has the Holy Spirit who is with us, living on the inside through salvation, ready to direct us to do right.
As we learn sensitivity to the Holy Spirit we grow to be more like Christ. It's the overflow of His love working in our hearts that we pass on to others. When a person receives the right kind of love from us, one that's full of understanding and compassion instead of an emotional love or the twisted lust, which has replaced real love and is so common today, their life becomes peaceful, full of joy. It isn't long until they have a desire to give back that same type of love. This builds a relationship between two people that can't be broken when they stay in tune with the Holy Spirit.
Love that we receive from God is very special. It not only promises us an eternity living in His presence with all His glory and pleasures; but it allows the Holy Spirit, here on earth, to teach us and divinely guide us to think, speak and do what's right. Salvation brings to our lives security, comfort and many blessings, physically and materially, as well as spiritually. It's those qualities that we receive from God that we learn to share with others that make our earthly relationships valuable.
There is also another side of perfect love. God is our heavenly father. He knows everything about everything and is able to correct us through the Holy Spirit. He is only interested in doing good to us so we will live a good life and then receive an eternity of peace and joy. Punishment is for the wicked but correction is for those who love Him. As He speaks to our conscience and we obey we grow in godly knowledge and wisdom. His correction can come through people, preacher, teachers as well as anyone who is quoting something correctly from God's Word. When we are obedient to correction it produces God's earthly prosperity in every area of our lives. Correction, for our own safety and good is the highest form of love because the teacher truly cares.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Hebrews 12:4-11 Endure hardship as discipline, God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
The Lord disciplines those he loves and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Read the full scriptures: Hebrews 12:4-11)
1Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.(Also see: 1Peter 2:18-21)
Temptations can also be trials that we go through, whether they are by Satan's desire to rob us of something good in life or by our own wrong choices. Either way God is there for us.
James 4:7 -10 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (These instructions push us deeper in the the heart of God.)
1Peter 5:10-11 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
These scriptures give us so much strength during tough times. They help us to show love to others during conflicts, no matter who's at fault, by building faith in our hearts that God is our source of supply for peace, joy and happiness. Knowing that God will rescue us with miracle power and great deliverance allows us to resist feelings of hurt, jealousy, selfishness, even hatred and revenge. It keeps our heart in a forgiving state so we don't interfere with the flow of God's blessings into our lives.
Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
God will fill us with His love for others if we will only believe and act upon His Word. He shows his love to us in ways that produce strength and goodness in our lives, bringing us to a fullness of maturity in his knowledge and wisdom. We receive wonderful blessings for our obedience but those who refuse will also receive what they deserve.
Revelations 22:12-13 Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done...
1Peter 1:17 Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear? (Fear: an attitude or feeling of deep respect, love, and awe, as for something sacred)
In all our relationships we should give love with the same intent as God gives to us, to better someone's life.
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Philippians 2: 3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (More scriptures for how to treat others: Luke 6:27-31, Jude 1:22-23, and 1Corinthians 6:7-8)
As we grow in the Lord's way of living and doing, expressing our love to others becomes strong and powerful. It overcomes petty arguments and selfish desires. With God's love you can see a need, even a desire in someone's life, where earthly love is blind even to a person's call for help. God's love in a person becomes supernatural and stable, which gives hope and security to others. Those around someone with God's love will recognize they have more power for goodness, but many times don't know how or why. Some even desire it but won't spend the time studying God's Word to receive it.
Everyone deserves to be loved because they are a creation of God and made in his image. However, just as God is not in covenant with sinners but still loves them and desires them to be saved by the blood of his Son, Jesus; we also must love and care for those who are out of God's will. However, we're to be faithful to the Word and not enter into a covenant relationship with a sinner.
2 Corinthians 6:14-16 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? (another name for Satan) What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.
Covenants or partnerships with an unbeliever allows them to hold a place of influence over a believer, which hinders their walk with God.
God's love has the ability for each relationship to develop in it's own special way. Loving each moment with that person, never having fear, jealousy or regret. Godly love grows in a person's heart for each individual just as God loves each of us individually. People are never grouped together under one heading, gender, race, interest group etc. This makes it easy to love and help each person in just the right way, as Jesus would. Of course everyone has different preferences to what they like in a person, especially when it comes to close relationships, but using God's word to define the proper feelings toward each person makes you strong, even when love is not returned. Godly love is the kind of love that produce great relationships because you are stable, unchanging like God. The best definition of God's love is found in 1st Corinthians:
1Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, love never fails.
This scripture shows us the qualities of a perfect love, self- controlled and of a godly heart and mind. Human love has limits, such as: it needs to be returned, it blooms and fades like flowers in a field, up and down, back and forth, and at times it's extremely self-centered or very narrow minded. Human love fails others so many times. God's love is supernatural, with no strings attached. When you give godly love to others you are giving part of God himself. He honors that kind of commitment. No matter how the relationship turns out you will receive heavenly blessing for your efforts. Those blessing will come even when the other person abandons the relationship altogether. Make earthly relationships valuable, learn God's way.
To start a fresh walk in the love of Jesus please go to our Salvation Prayer Page.
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To understand Satan's counterfeit for love, which is lust, read:
Lust, What Does God Say About It?
Lust and God's Wrath Against Mankind |