I'm so sorry to hear of your problem. You didn't give me much to go on. Does your husband know that you know about his affair? Whether he does or not it is time to prepare for battle. You are the only light of God's true love in this situation and that is how you can win over the darkness of Satan and the sin of lust (perverted love) he has tempted your husband with.

You have already made a great start by prayer and fasting. Ester changed the fate of her whole nation by calling on God's mercy with a 3 day fast. The ultimate fast for the power of God in a situation is a 40-day water fast and living in his presence with reading, praying and deep worship. Continue seeking God, let the Lord lead you in how much to fast and he will give you strength.

Although you are in great pain do not dwell on the situation or try to figure out how to fix it. God has all the answers and his ways are not our ways, they are miraculous. Be patient God has chosen you and loves you. If your husband can be won back for you, and for Jesus, he will use you to do it. Satan didn't steal him overnight and it takes time for God to deal with a human heart. The Lord's will is for everyone to be saved. He wants to soften a person's heart enough to change it and he'll do it in a way that Jesus will receive glory and honor from that person's life, however, it takes a lot of patients from us to wait for the changing power of God to help that person.

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. (Ephesians 1:11-12)

The Bible says the Lord guides our footsteps; so allow him to do so by keeping your mind stayed on Jesus, his love for you, and the miracles he has produced for others. Worship him and expect him to intervene for you as he has for thousands of others. He has a great future ahead for you.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

God is in the business of delivering and saving people; therefore the answer to this problem is deliverance for your husband's mind, spirit and soul. Continuing to pray, fast and seek God's deliverance for him is your next step, along with preparing yourself with the fruit of the Spirit so the Holy Spirit can use you. This is probably the most difficult part when you are so hurt, but you must be ready for service when God calls.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Once you feel you have the compassion of Jesus it is time to confront your husband with a loving heart. Do not argue with him. No matter how you feel, your composure and the tone of your voice are extremely important. Allow the compassion of Christ to move through you. It is your sword against Satan. You must remember at all times your husband is a sinner so he is acting like a sinner. He is bound and controlled by lustful demons in this situation. So be strong.

Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:11-12)

I don't know how long you have been a Christian, but many times we get caught up in spending time with the Lord and our spouse feels left out because they have not made the same commitment. Therefore they compensate in different ways to fill the loss that they are feeling. It is crucial to spend more quality, loving time with that person to assure them that they are important to us so they can maintain their feeling of security. It will also open their eyes to the value of the love that salvation provides.

People will search for something they think is better, sometimes getting caught up in a situation they don't know how to get out of, even if they wanted to. Therefore, they continue in that sin or move deeper into other sins. Your husband could be at a point of wanting a way out, especially since you have been praying and fasting. Watch for any little attitude in him that says, "I'd like to stop the sin and change," if you see that attitude make the change easy and convenient for him. Plan a time together that will result in helping him to change. Help can be such things as praying with him, reading the Bible to him, if he will let you (start the New Testament), you could also try counseling, or maybe even a short vacation. Remember you want to offer help not demand reform. However, in your gentleness don't compromise, if he doesn't find the Lord he will not change. Keep your attitude gentle and balanced.

Whether he wants to change or not you must remember "Sin is simply a lack of faith" and that is his basic problem.

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. (Romans 10:17)

Changing anyone's faith level can change his or her whole life. One way of getting the word into a person is simply talking to them. You don't need to make it sound like it comes from the Bible but using biblical principals and Bible words or phrases when you talk will help bring them into a faith position that the Holy Spirit can move for them. If you are not skilled in this pray and the Holy Spirit will help you.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:17-18)

Another thing you can do is to play Bible tapes or Christian music for yourself, it will not only strengthen you but will fill your home with God's spirit and if your husband hears bits and pieces of it the Holy Spirit can soften his heart and change him. Remember you can't change him. The power of God will have to do it. You only have to decide if you want to spend the time and effort it will take to save and rebuild your relationship since he broke the marriage vows.

During the times of confrontation, and there may be more than one, be prepared to talk the situation out completely with him. Don't be afraid of asking many questions but be prepared for the answers. Pray about what to ask and how to answer in return. During any confrontation prayer must be extremely involved. Be a good listener! He probably will not be interested in your feelings at this time, so work on his feelings. However, weigh out considerably any criticism he may give you, as he will be evaluating you and the whole situation by the world's standards not biblical standards. Don't make promises of any kind. That is not your place; you are the leader of this situation, the offender must be the submissive one. Remember you're God's child; you're the stronger one between the two of you. You have the upper hand and the favor of God. Respond to your husband with biblical answers (what I call 'life according to the Bible'). Your love and understanding can lead him into a place of remorse so be ready with a salvation prayer. The more you can get him to respond to you with answers about his feelings the better chance you have at re-establishing your relationship. Gently break into his secret world. Secrets cause divisions, assumptions that could be wrong, hard and hurt feelings and a multitude of other problems. It the devils's game of "divide and conquer".

As for the other woman pray for her deliverance and salvation. This way God can work on the situation at both ends.

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:27)

Even if you have done all of this in the past continue to do it again and again. I usually give a person 6 months to make heart felt permanent changes. Watch for little improvements. Persevere and trust in God. Even if your husband leaves, be the woman God designed you to be, and let Jesus put his arms around you.

I don't know what kind of relationship you had before but it always strains the relationship when one becomes a Christian. The sin of others causes us much suffering, but the grace of God gives us strength. God is family oriented and can rebuild love. Set a fair time period for change, especially if you have children and be confidant God will do his best to save your marriage.

...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5:3-5)

Write again and let me know how things are working out. My prayers are many for you and your family and when you have worked through this I pray that you both will have a bond that will be strong and secure in Jesus Christ.