You don't say whether or not you have tried to help your husband receive salvation. Even if you have he may not feel he can ask God for help because of his situation. I assure you that even in his double life, by having another family, God has answers for him and you can help him to find them.

2Peter 3:8-9 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

God is showing patience with your husband through you. He's not looking to punish us for our mistakes but to save us and help us. Your husband qualifies for God's mercy. Your husband can be saved simply by repentance for the wrong he has done throughout his life, and start a new life in Christ where he will learn to live righteous and be free from the bondage he's in. Just like you and I were in sin and have repented, it's no different for him, he needs to know it along with how much God loves him.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

God really does love him and will help him to work out this situation. In the next little while look for the right moment to lead him in a salvation prayer or take him to our salvation prayer page and pray with him. Let him know how much you love him and how important this is to you. Then he can begin to receive God's blessings here on earth and go on to receive an eternal life in heaven with you. God not only has answers for your husband but for all who are involved in your situation. God is such a loving and forgiving God. He is so used to untangling the messes people make of their lives because they yielded to the temptation and sin that Satan has offered.

You say you don't believe anything your husband says. Don't ask him anything about what's important to your life? At this time he is a sinner and will respond in a way that either he thinks you want to hear or that will keep himself out of the most trouble. I find that asking people who's mind is owned and operated by satanic influences rarely have the right answers, especially ones that are biblically based, so why ask them anything of value, it only causes disappointment.

If you work at making your environment and lifestyle as pleasing to God as possible and try to include him he will begin to make choices. Give him time to choose to accept the things you are doing and be ready with explanations. He will see your strength that God is giving you for a better life. He will either accept it, or walk away because he chooses to stay in bondage. Either way he chooses will give you the peace of God in your life. The answers to your questions will come as you watch his response to the changes you make. Let him see you pray; it will teach him how and draw him to follow your lead. Don't jump to conclusions just because you see him worse at first. Satan will try to keep him. It will be a battle for him to break loose so make it easy to choose your way, with the Lord, by showing him love, understanding and compassion. Go to my resource page for inspiration on how to continually fill your home with a godly atmosphere.

As for the Child, make an effort, no matter what happens in the future, to keep this child and teach him about the Lord. Find the best Sunday School class you can find and if you can afford Christian schooling, do so. If you don't have a good church, with knowledgeable people in the Word that can handle a situation like yours, then read my article on finding one. How To Find The Right Church Your church should welcome your husband with open arms, and his child also. There is no place in the heart of God's people for gossip. If this is a problem you can write me back. You say you consider yourself close to the 6 year old and he doesn't understand why you get mad when his dad spends time with his mom. You wonder if all this is good for the child. NO! It's very bad for the child mentally and emotionally. Your are not being a good godly witness when you respond to the situation with anger, especially in front of a small child. You must respond in faith if your going to see the godly changes you desire. Never show anger anymore. It will waste your time and energy. Use self-control so you can hear from God.

1 Peter 4:7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.

The root of anger is rebellion. When we are angry at Satan and his works we are rebelling against sin. When we are angry at people we are rebelling against someone who God has made in His image, then we hurt God. We are doing the same thing that Satan is, hurting God by hurting people that God loves. If we are angry we must examine that anger along with our motives for allowing it to be in our mind. Anger uses up our human resources if we can't turn it back on Satan where it will stop his efforts. Always make sure anger is directed at the proper source; which is Satan. Then we can use the Word to stop his works. When we allow wrong anger to control our mind it robs us of the ability to hear God's voice in our heart, as well as through his Word. It hinders our ability to move by the direction of the Holy Spirit and brings defeat, at the very least, for that period of time.

James 1: 19-25 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. (Being saved is a continuous process as we learn faith to defeat the battles in life) Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, (The Holy Bible) and continues to do this, (continues to study) not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it, he will be blessed in what he does.

1 Timothy 4:16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Spend the energy that anger uses on something that can produce results, like searching the scriptures for making confession of faith in trusting God. That way you are giving Him covenant acts that He has bound himself to honor with promised blessings.

Now let's see what else you can do. First look at the soul and spirit of the real mother of the 6 year old. You wrote, "She has even told him to lie about his dad spending time with them (like overnight) and that if he tells, his dad won't get to spend time with him." She is like Goliath spitting out lies and threats and working on others to do her same sinful deeds. Did he win the battle, absolutely not. Neither will she. The dogs ate Jezebel for forcing her way on people and manipulating them to sin. You need to take a good look at who your dealing with and know that God is on your side.

Now strengthen yourself for the battle and begin to empower yourself by saturating your mind with God's Word, it's your sword. The more you know, the bigger the sword is that you carry. The bigger the sword the more of God's power you have to defeat the enemy, which is Satan working through her. (See: The Armor of God) Start in the New Testament and go over it several times. Spend as much time as you can. God will honor your efforts. Especially read Paul's writings on how we are to conduct ourselves as God's holy people. Our good conduct increases our power from God through pleasing the Holy Spirit. Many people don't realize that the Holy Spirit is here at all times and sees everything. Here is just a sample of instructions that keeps the Holy Spirit working on our case.

1 Thessalonians 5:15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances (not for the bad circumstances as some has taught), for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.

If you don't have the Bible on CDs it will be the best investment you will ever make. Begin to think, speak and act strictly according to the Word. Be like Christ in all you say and do. Let the love of God begin to flow in all situations to all people, because faith works through love. In time your husband and all your children will see the change in you and desire it also. Watch what you say at all times. Keep your lips from doubt, anger, fear or anything that is not from the heart of God. Be like David, sure and sound that God will move for you because of your obedience. Set your course with The Fruit Of The Spirit continually as your guide and measuring stick. Never think, speak or act according to your feelings but use faith and love from the Word as your foundation.

Do you know that when you spend time with God in reading, praying etc., his attention is on you and he will give you insight to what you need, just because you are obedient. God knows the heart and mind of every person and will direct you in what to do, as well as what to say at all times to help yourself, as well as others. When you walk in his faith and love you get godly results!

Now use your energy to give your husband and his child a solid reason to desire to be in your godly presence. Don't enter into sin with him but be submissive and humble, caring for his needs with love, understanding and compassion. After all you want him to give the other woman up not for you to force it, then it will last.

1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

In answer to your question, "I don't see why he has to do things with her and the child."

It's simple he does things with the other woman because he likes being with her. It isn't to see the child since he lives with you. Your husband is lacking in godly faith. Without godly faith, which only comes from God's Holy Bible, a person is spiritually dead. That's why people act as they do. Satan and his influences are in control, that's what makes them a "sinner".

Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;

We need to bring your husband to life and he won't desire her anymore. As a person hears or sees the things of God and begins to believe, their heart changes. Eventually they believe enough to want salvation. So when they repent and receive Jesus into their heart, as lord over their life, the soul, which was filled with years of evil is cleansed and the spirit comes alive.

Romans 8:10 But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness.

At that moment that person is born again. This event moves them from darkness into the light of God, from the road of death and destruction to life with the eternal blessing of heaven. Now that person is finally in position to learn God's rules and has been given a heart to obey by the Holy Spirit. They now have the ability to train the body to live holy, staying free from sinful ways; to live a joyful life and receive all the promises that's in God's covenant. The Fruit of the Spirt will grow as they put on the Armor of God and get ready to do battle with the spiritual force that once held them captive.

So the answer on how to get your husband to quit doing things with the other woman is bring him to salvation. How? First confess over and over that your husband will serve the Lord. Rebuke the hold that Satan has on him. The Bible says you can take authority over your own household. Use this for your children also. Whatever belongs to you God has given you His authority to claim it; take it away from Satan and move it into His Kingdom where you are. That's what fighting the good fight of faith is all about; stopping Satan from doing his evil works, otherwise God would not have written this scripture.

Jude 1:23 Snatch others from the fire and save them.

So try to put as much of the Bible or biblical teaching on in your home or car for your husband to grow in faith. Don't expect him to do this for himself, you will probably have to do it for a very long time. Worldly people are interested in other things than growing in faith. You may have to start with very small amounts and increase slowly, he won't have much of an appetite for the things of God until he begins to feel they are helping him. As your husband receives from God his faith will grow, he will change his actions because he wants to. Eventually he will just send the child for the weekend and you and him will enjoy your free time.

Your first goal will be to give him something to compare to when they go to see the other woman. Welcome them home and have things special prepared for them. Make that evening better than their day was. Let the child, even your husband, talk about their time with her and be glad. Show interest and support and pray for her. If she should get saved then she would do right. As it is now though, she's a sinful woman and doesn't really have much to compete with. She's already given up her child. It shouldn't be hard for you to get your husband to give her up. (Since the child is living with you a good lawyer will assure you that it will continue.) As your husband and his child see the joy of being with you they will begin to recognize how her evil controls them and desire to abandon her. Draw that child close to you in prayer and serving God, so your husband sees that you are a better mother. In years to come he may eventually want you to adopt him because of your great love.

After awhile when you see your husband responding to God's Word, if he is not sending the child and is still going to be with her, pray first and then suggest that he send the child to see his or her mother so you and him can get away alone together. The money he will have spent on her he will now be spending on you. It's important that you don't talk money though. Let him do the leading. Talk love and new life in Christ. This is a new and fresh start to your relationship so make memories. If he doesn't go, give him more of the Word for awhile and try again.

Become the kind of mother to the child that puts you special in his heart forever. After all God has made this possible by allowing him to live with you. Take authority over your marriage by binding Satan. The words you speak to him are important. God backs you up and he has to bow at your feet just before he flees from your presence, all because you use the Word and the authority of Christ. Research the scriptures how Satan acted when Jesus spoke. It is no different for you when you use God's Word. You will learn more on how to bind Satan in my article "What's Faith". Make your home a place of prayer and worship and never give up. Dedicate it to God and ask Him to bless it. Never leave it even when your 18 year old son is on his own unless you and your husband want something new. As a Christian you have the authority to stop Satan from robbing you.

A person can only break apart a marriage that is weak. Yours is not as weak as you think. If you make your home-life, godly, good, strong in the Word of the Lord, your husband will grow. Find ways of being with him more, and do things that are godly but fun, parks, picnics, amusements, take the boy to the movies etc. Plan ahead and pray, it will give the Holy Spirit something to work with. If he doesn't go with you, go anyway and let him know you missed him and wished he had been there. Don't over do it, but people hate it when they missed out on something. Eventually he will be drawn to go with you.

In answer to your statement, "I know God hates divorce." You are wrong in this way of thinking because you don't know the scriptures. Although God hates divorce, He has rules to follow. God makes it clear that adultery ends a marriage covenant or contract.

Matthew 5:31-32 "It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, (or husband) except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman (or husband) commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 6:16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute (anyone other than their spouse) is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."

A person can't be one flesh with more than one person at a time. Adultery breaks the marriage bond because they gave away something they didn't have the right to give.

1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

Intimate relationships are to be reserved for the marriage bed only.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

God's reason for hating divorce is when there is no adultery, because it gives a couple an alternative other than working out their differences through the leadership of the Holy Spirit. He desires the children from a marriage to become part of his family and divorce interrupts the process. God wants people to continue to grown in His Word and do His work in a smooth, unbroken, orderly fashion. Producing greater faith down through the generations.

Malachi 2:15-16 Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

You have the choice to take the option of divorce because your husband is continually going to the other woman's house with the child, but I chose to send you another direction because of the child and the fact that you said, "I just want to do what is right in Gods eyes." God would like to see your husband saved and your family repaired. God knows you must be so tired of being hurt, and my heart breaks for you, but you're a very strong woman and now should draw on God's strength to carry you through. You will receive strength, along with answers that will change your situation, as you immerse yourself in His Word and meditate on what you are learning. Look to God for your joy and happiness instead of your husband. Then if God can do anything for him, He certainly will. A person has a free will to choose but I see that your husband really does choose you over the other woman. Surely as the Holy Spirit draws him, his heart will choose you. Set some reasonable goals for his process of change. You've already invested a good many years in this relationship, a few months or even one more year of "faith cultivation" could make a world of difference. Then if he doesn't change you have a free and clear way out. Then when you stand before God you will have a good conscience knowing that you've done all you could do.

If you haven't yet received the fullness of the Holy Spirit since you've been saved, study the Book of Acts and ask God to fill you, with the evidence of speaking in tongues, just as they did. The Holy Spirit in-filling is the commandment that Jesus instructed his disciples to receive. He is the third person in the God-head and is the power that would be sufficient to do God's work since Jesus was leaving to sit at the Father's side. He is the same power for us today. He was received by anyone who wanted Him as the disciples traveled and preached. He has also been received, in His fullness, in the hearts of millions of people today all over the world. Anyone who is born again through the blood of Jesus Christ can ask and seek God and He will fill them.

Acts 1: 3-8 After his suffering, he showed himself to these men and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God. On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."...But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

This is soul winning power. Good witnesses have more power working in their own lives. They have insight because the Holy Spirit is working to reach everyone for God's glory and knows what's inside each person. He can reveal whatever God see they need so we can help that person. The fullness of the Holy Spirit is the power that God intended for His church to live under and use for living a life of victory and for helping other to do the same. Once a person receives the fullness of the Holy Spirit, He is then able to explain scriptures to us with revelation, as God intended them to be. By just asking for help, He gives us understanding and wisdom to handle all of life's situations in a way that gives God glory and honor.

2 Corinthians 3:6 He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Spiritual insight is a miraculous thing. It's so comforting to know we are not left to our own devises when something comes up that's difficult to handle, all we do is ask for the knowledge or wisdom and the Holy Spirit is there to help us. Sometimes He helps us in simply remembering a scripture and other time He provides a miraculous event or even a way of escape. Tongues is the prayer language we receive so that our prayer is private between the individual and God. When Satan doesn't know what your saying he can't interfere with the results that God sends. It's important to speak the words that the Spirit puts in our mind and pray them to God because the Spirit searches us and knows exactly what we need, even when we think we need something else. He is always right and our blessings are bigger and better if we follow His lead.

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

Romans 8:27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

1 Corinthians 2:10 but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

When we have someone searching us and searching God also, who's whole purpose is to increase our lives in His way, how blessed we are!

I pray that you will try just a little longer with your husband since you have gone this far with him. Begin using faith and confessions about your life and marriage as God says it should be, instead of wishing things were better. Speak what you want and stand firm and see what God will do. If your husband does something that hurts you, just realize that he's "still" a sinner and is doing the best he knows how, considering he has gotten himself into a situation like this with another woman. His problem isn't his situation it's the condition of his heart. You and God working together can easily change that, through kindness and love, leading him into salvation and growth in righteousness. He will look back someday on his unfortunate experience and be thankful for the child he has and that a strong, godly wife had the wisdom and knowledge to bring his child into God's kingdom while he was young.

Isaiah 55:11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Start feeding your husband the Word today and thank God for every little improvement that you see. Thanks for writing, I will be praying for you.

You must read What is Faith? to find out how to control what you think, speak and act in complete faith for binding Satan's control in your family. It will also help you learn how to receive from God the things you need and even desire.

You will find some ideas on how to help your husband from: How Do We Get God's Love Working Through Other People?

Also: How To Help Someone Find God Without Them Rebelling

You will also find instructions in: Building A Foundation Strong Enough To Help Others