From your letter, I can see that feelings of guilt still weigh on your mind. You haven't forgiven yourself. Repent before God of what you've done, and God will forgive you. Then you will be able to forgive yourself, have a clear conscience, and your marriage can begin anew.

Then go to your husband and talk to him. Tell him you have taken your sin to God and He has forgiven you. Through Jesus Christ you have the strength to never disappoint Him again. Let him know you are firm in your new life with Christ, and you will be faithful to him forever. Tell him that you're thankful to him for choosing to love you and stay with you despite the way you hurt him. Then, if he isn't saved, lead him to the Lord and let Jesus Christ be the head of your household.

Forget the past and bring as much excitement to your lives as you possibly can. You will grow old with your husband and God will bless the two of you more than you've ever been blessed before.