When a person refuses to hear what you have to say about God it's because they have a lack of faith. Not realizing how much God loves them and is willing to help them, they continue in feeling guilt and shame, which in turn causes pain. When you talk about God's word, even if they try to block it out, it continues to work in their mind and heart because your words are faith, and faith is a living working resource designed by God to draw people into his family. Many times if you play Christian music in your home it will soften the heart of a loved one so the Word of God will be accepted.

It will take the Spiritual work of God words to build his faith and deliver him from the bondage he's in. So don't give up. You're already seeing changes in him. That's wonderful! Thank God for each little change you see; he's on his way to serving the Lord. I've dealt with people just like your husband and they just need more love than others who will accept the Lord easily.

In your private time, speak aloud confessions of his deliverance using the name of Jesus to take authority over the grip that Satan has on him. All of heaven will back you up.

Matthew 16:17-19 Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. "

He's your man and the father of your child, so decide that whatever it takes, as long as he is willing to stay, you are going to see to it that he will serve the Lord. Hold on to God for him. Be firm and tell God you won't accept any other way. Show God your faith for what you want. He will honor it. Jesus said ask and you will receive, seek and you will find. God said He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4) and God is definitely in the business of building strong, healthy and righteous families.

If your man respects the fact that you don't want to do something sinful like having pre-marital sex, then his conscience is in good working order. God is dealing with him. God expects you to get married and live righteous in His sight. You say the Christians you have talked to tell you that you can't marry this man until he is born again; and that you've seen it in the Bible yourself. I suppose you're getting that from:

2Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.

This scripture is not for you. You are already yoked together, you have a child together, you still live together, and you still love each other. The two of you have become one in God's eyes through sexual relations even though you're not married. It was His law that He set up for people everywhere, even though his other law was to be married first. Don't be offended by this next scripture, but you have to know that the two of you have become one. It's just that God sees half of you as unsaved.

1Corinthians 6:16-17 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

Whether a man or a woman is or isn't born again they become as one flesh when they engage in a sexual relationship. You have been committed to this man for at least seven years, and by what you say, much longer. The Christians you have been listening to are giving you the letter of the Word and forgetting the leadership of God's Holy Spirit. It's much like the legalistic rules the Pharisees tried to impose on people when Jesus was here doing God's work.

New Covenant people, those who accept the blood of Jesus for their salvation, live under grace, not law. If we still lived under law, God would have killed the two of you when you gave in to sexual relations before marriage, just as He did to the man and woman in Numbers 25:6-8. Instead God loved you so much he gloriously saved you and is working toward your man's day of salvation. Grace affords us the opportunity to make mistakes, even live in sin, while God is waiting for just the right moment to convict us of our sins and offer us salvation. Never let anyone force the letter of the word on you but pray and ask God about everything.

2Corinthians 3:4-6 Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant--not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life .

1John 4:8...God is love. Is it even reasonable that God would have you separate from one another? What would you do, find another man to raise your son just because he would be saved? Then how would you handle the feelings of love you have for your ex-husband when he still loves you and the biggest bond between you is your child? Can you see what a disaster your life would become because you took the advice of someone who is not led by the Spirit of God?

God is not the least bit interested in tearing your family apart. That would destroy you, your son and your man. He already feels left out because Satan has such a hold on him. If you turn him away he may go off into deeper sin and never receive his salvation. How could either of you ever have peace from such a situation? Even if he would never get saved, he's better off with you and his son than he would be out in the sinful world. You have enough love for God and your man to cover this whole situation, so by all means get married. It will at least release your man from the guilt that he's living in sin. It could be the very thing that would change his whole outlook on Christianity.

Plan a small ceremony where a godly preacher gives you God's blessing. Get your man involved with the wedding. It will at least give him a reason to go to church and meet the pastor. If your pastor is the one who told you that you couldn't marry him, then you're not receiving spiritual food from the pulpit and he may not want to perform your wedding. If he wants the two of you to separate for any length of time before the wedding, then you are in the wrong church. When you do get married, you want you husband to grow in the Lord and that will take proper teaching and spiritual guidance. Please see my article on How To Find The Right Church. It gives guidelines for who you should allow into your life to teach you and your family. God is love and the love between the two of you and your son should not be destroyed, but nurtured by godly people until the two of you are whole and righteous in the sight of God.

Satan doesn't want to release anyone from the chains of sin that he has bound them with. I have worked with many people that do what you call "shutting himself off". It's natural for a young Christian to feel they caused it because of what they did or said. Actually it's not a bad thing. I look at it as a quiet time or a thinking process where the Holy Spirit can bring about changes in their heart because of the seed that you planted. It's biblical because everything in God's worlds, physical as well as spiritual, works through Seed Time and Harvest. Genesis 8:22 "As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease." I guarantee you God is not done with your man. Just hang in there and fill his life with the joy you are receiving from God. He will eventually feel the desire to receive the things of God for himself.

To learn more about how to lead him to the Lord go to my article How To Help Someone Find God Without Them Rebelling.