Dear N,

I applaud you; your faith and stability in obeying God's word pleases all of heaven. You truly have a desire to live your life God's way. When you say "surrendering your dream to God" I am assuming that you have already prayed for the Lord to give you a godly husband. If so, God has heard you. If not, bring it before the Lord and tell him your desires. God likes details; he listens to everything we say to him and never forgets a thing. He has surprised me with things I mentioned and wasn't even sure I wanted. There are times when we get what I call a preview. God allows you to see something nice or try something out, not even thinking you would ever have one like that; and then a few months later he blesses you with one. Living in his ways according to the Bible many times gives you supernatural automatic blessings. Blessings above and beyond the things you think you want or need. When you receive something by miracle power it's just awesome. So ask the Lord for what you want. Live your life to God's standards. Then always let him choose the end result. His choices are always better than what we could ever imagine. After you've asked for something then next you must believe that it's going to happen.

Faith is the key to receiving from God and your level of faith to receive God's choice for a husband is to be commended. Since I receive so many questions from men as well as women, who desire a godly marriage, as I write to you I would like to give others information for preparing for the gift of a godly spouse so they can use their faith as you have.

The two most important power words in a Christian's vocabulary should be "covenant" and "faith". What does covenant mean in the case of wanting a godly husband? It means if you want to be married then God wants you to be married. He is so pleased that you have asked him to choose a marriage partner. So many people marry the wrong person and live a life of unhappiness because they left God out of the most important decision of their lives. God knows exactly who is suitable for you and which person will stand the test of time. There are too many scriptures that prove this so to ever think otherwise. People, on the other hand, don't know what's in another person's heart nor how that's person will be ten years from now. God knows everything about everybody, their spiritual strengths and weaknesses, what kind of values they let rule their lives. With the Holy Spirit as your counselor (John 14:15-17) you always get the right results. Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and receive strength and wisdom from the story about "A Wife Of Noble Character", then examine your own individual strengths and know that those attributes please God.

Now that you have the strength to be a noble wife God expects you to use those attributes to please a godly husband. In fairness to others who may read this answer to your question lets look at the scriptures in another light. Twice in the Bible it says it's: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9 and Proverbs 25:24 If this is a woman's character then she should not marry until she seeks the Lord and allows the Fruit of the Spirit to grow in her heart. Seeking God is the way to a secure loving marriage. Scripture was meant to guide us into the greatness of God for our life here as well as all eternity.

Since you have such love and respect for God's ways, what you have asked him to do for you will be a great pleasure for him. His desire is to unite his children together and create strong loving families. Strong Christian families build a stronger "Body of Christ". Never for a moment think that God would not fulfill your request for a godly husband. It's to his advantage that you have one soon; and that you raise your children to love and honor the Lord.

James 2:14-26 What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder. You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone. In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

Faith by Works

It is important to put your faith into action. In this case, where you are asking for a godly husband, the thing to do is to make sure you're strong and ready when the two of you meet. As a mature Christian you may already have things well under control in your own life; but for the sake of anyone else who reads this, I want to inspire thoughts for each person's own issues they may want to resolve.

Anytime a person allows another person into their life there is a possibility that he or she will hinder their close relationship with the Lord. Stability in a person's spiritual life has to be at the top of the list. I have seen so many people get established in the Lord for even a year or more but then a boyfriend or girlfriend entered their life and they completely lost interest in God. Sadly they ended up backslidden and in an unhappy marriage. Spiritual readiness for marriage means being steadfast in learning and obeying what's in the Bible. Then when you meet that special person you'll not miss a beat with the Lord but will feel stronger in Him because now there are two of you to worship. When you increase with the Lord you are preparing to lead your family closer to the Lord through any circumstances. It seems like we can never get too much of God miraculous knowledge. I've been through the Bible many times and each time the Holy Spirit takes me deeper into understanding God's ways and the reality of the great price Jesus paid for us.

Now since physical appearance is so important in attracting a mate, take inventory of yourself. It's also important to ask the Lord what you should do to be pleasing to your future spouse, after all God knows their personality and what kind of person they're attracted to. Make any adjustments you feel are needed. If you need new glasses or dental work get it over with. No spouse wants extra bills to start a new marriage with. Inventory should be taken with the things that are in your space, your car or home. What can you do to improve them?

You want to have your life so together that when the right relationship comes along you'll be able to put all your efforts into the growth of the relationship. That doesn't mean for you to be their servant, it's never a good thing to wait on a person so much that they take you for granted or that they don't feel the need to help themselves or you. You want to be a strong healthy partner with no extra baggage such as credit card debt or other hidden surprises. If you're not already on top of things, at all times, learn to be. Don't procrastinate. Make yourself a good catch for the right person. Then when God sends them to you, they'll know God sent you also and love will bloom.

Are you making yourself available at Christian activities where you can meet new people? Some small churches don't have enough single adults to do group activities. If the well is dry at your church expand your horizons. Don't look for a mate in worldly places like bars, clubs etc. God doesn't use sin to bless his people. You'll never find the right mate in those kinds of places. The truth of God is not there and you could become deceived, trapped by Satan into a marriage you didn't discern was wrong. It's best to try activities sponsored by other churches. We have always gone to large churches, Church of God and Assembly of God, where they have organized activities for single adults. If there is a church of either kind close, you could call to find out if they have something for singles. I am sure they would welcome you; and if you're timid, take a friend with you the first time. These are the only two denominations I'm familiar enough with to feel comfortable to recommend. You can still attend your regular church as long as you like.

When meeting new people always pray that God will increase their lives according to the Bible and if they're someone He wants you to become close to. We are to be careful in choosing close friends, so watch their lifestyles closely. They must be people that are growing in the word of the Lord and in His way of living. It doesn't take long when people begin to talk for you to know how much of God is in their heart.

Luke 6:43-45 "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

So keep your feelings under control. The Bible tells us over and over not to walk by feelings or sight but by the word of God. 2Corinthians 5: 7 We live by faith, not by sight.

Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, "It is written: `Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' "

Make a list of any dreams you have, such as travel, a new wardrobe, car etc., and do them. Married life will require some adjustments and you may never get around to doing something that was really important to you. If you have any habits or any areas of your life that need to be changed then pray about them and let the Holy Spirit help you change. Always stand strong knowing that you are special to God; he loves you is eager to answer all your prayers. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Read the Book of Esther and put yourself in her place. Just as Hegai made her ready for the king, the Holy Spirit will get you ready for your husband or wife, with the righteousness of God. After all the Holy Spirit knows both of you completely and is the one that will blend the two of you together as one. My favorite scripture from the story is: ( Esther 2:15-17) When the turn came for Esther (the girl Mordecai had adopted, the daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king's eunuch who was in charge of the harem , suggested . And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her... Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other virgins .

God has chosen someone so special for you and the Holy Spirit is preparing them for your first meeting. It will be your close walk with the Lord that will attract the kind of person that God would choose. Therefore, move into His presence as much as you possibly can and stay there.

1Peter 3: 3-6 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment , such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. (God doesn't mind what you wear as long as you don't place more importance on it than you do on Him and his ways.) Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

After Marriage

I've seen people receive a mate from God and then not pray for that person, they thought receiving the mate was the end of their prayer. They didn't work at keeping them in church or getting the word of God into them at home. When their mate fell short in the marriage and things went wrong they decided it was their mate's fault. That in turn got them into trouble with God because then they were grumbling and not walking in love. I've seen several people slip out of the hand of God and backslid in this way and then blame their mate for it when they did it to themselves. No one ever backslides because of someone else.

James 1:13-15 When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Romans 8:37-39...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In those cases they yielded to the temptation of walking out of love and didn't ask God for help and love to endure in a righteous way.

There's nothing Satan likes to do better than squeeze in between a husband and wife and rob them of the blessing of love that God gave them. A couple should always check the level of God's love in their marriage because

1Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

God's love continually builds closeness and feelings of love in a marriage. Even in the hard times love for each other will go deeper and stronger each day. If you feel that your love falls short at times then pump it up by getting deeper into God's word together. If you have your feelings of love in order as the Bible describes and your spouse seems to be short show them more love and consideration while getting them into the scriptures more. They're just going through a bad time so do something to help them and make their pain easier. Satan will "divide and conquer" a marriage by pushing his way into each other's mind with thoughts of selfishness, doubt, fear, anger or frustration. Never let him get control of your mind. Don't let human feelings rule what you say or do. The God's Word needs to rule in every situation and then the right feelings will come. A secure marriage is not in trusting you spouse but in trusting in God to give you insight for your marriage. If both partners do that how could there ever be a severe problem between them?

Your spouse is a gift from God and should been looked upon as being extra special.

Because there are adjustments from time to time in any marriage you must always keep in mind that the marriage isn't about how your spouse treats you or what they say or do; their actions are not your responsibility unless you provoked them.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Everything must be worked out between a couple with the Lord and his Word to guide them. God will take care of the spouse's growth and actions toward you when you put God first and extend God's loving hand out to them. Your priority is about how you can love them more and more in spite of how they act at any given moment. The closer a person is to the Lord the more love they have for others. So it is to your advantage to do all you can to keep your spouse in the presence of the Lord.

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs .

1Peter 4:7-11 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray . Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully (constantly) administering God's grace in its various forms . If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.

If someone expects their husband or wife to always be their better half then they're responsible for loving them into that place. Pray for them continually, it keeps them safe and God will give them strength to rise above the attacks of Satan. Everyone has potential problem situations that come up, catch them early and seek God's guidance. Be sensitive to your spouse's needs because your relationship is only as good as you make it. How your spouse treats you will be a direct result from how you treat them, plus how much you pray for them. Never say anything unconstructive to them or about them to others; it's not only rude but you will reap what you say. Job 4:8 As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it.

Hosea 10:12 Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap the fruit of unfailing love . The extension of God's love is the love of a good spouse. Speaking good about others and always sowing good words will reap blessings for both of you.

When God set up the law of sowing and reaping it was the major way that he could pour out his bountiful blessings upon each person that would plant good seeds in speech and actions. Those blessings would prosper them in every area of their lives even extending to those around them. However, it also works the other way. If a person sows bad seed through their speech or actions then they leave themselves open for the curse. When Satan fell, his sin put the same curse on any angel that was yielded to his ways; which diminished their lives continually until God finally threw them out of heaven. The same happens to human beings that react to situations with feelings and actions put in their heart by evil instead of God's word. When they sow wrong words and actions, they reap what they sow. Curse words put a curse on one's life. Sickness words yield one's spirit over to sickness, poverty or lack of any good thing in a person's life will increase when you speak words of doubt and fear. Therefore we must always carefully watch everything we say or do that it will lead to God's blessing for us as well as for our families.

Ephesians 4:26-27 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold .

Your spouse is for life and that could be a very long time. Christians who believe the scriptures and use their faith have the ability to live to be at least one hundred and twenty years old. Genesis 6:3 Then the Lord said, "My Spirit will not contend with man forever, for he is mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years ."

However, the disobedient were allotted seventy or eighty years.

Psalm 90:8-10 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. The length of our days is seventy years--or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass , and we fly away.

This is exciting for married couples that have God as the head of their household. It gives us time to enjoy the richness of life and the blessings of God in good health after retirement.

The vows taken in marriage are a covenant between a husband, wife and God. Staying in covenant brings deeper love. Remembering and giving thanks to God for all he has done in our past plus searching the Bible for stories that show us how to handle different problems, builds our faith in the hard times. Helping to keep our spouse close to the Lord and loving him/her with all our heart is beneficial to our own well being.