Dear Sister in the Lord,

I have prayed for God to totally restore your marriage and increase the love between the two of you. From what you have written I feel you are a woman who desires moral values to rule in your life. The fact that you say you fell in love with anther man before the divorce and that it was sin leads me to assume that you were either not a born again Christian or that you didn't have enough of God's power working in you to overcome the situation. Either way, you are not looking at the situation in the light of God's Word. The Bible has scriptures that will reveal the truth of the whole situation and that truth will set you free from the torment in your mind plus the depression you are going through.

John 8:31-32 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

You say you divorced your husband due to abuse issues from him and his family. When any person is abused, physically or mentally, they become desperate to find a way out of the situation. It's easy to understand that in a time of need, this other man came to your rescue and you would have feelings for him based on what he did for you. However you have proof that this was not the man God wanted you to love for a lifetime. God has already moved for you in such a miraculous way.

Everyday now you see what God has done for you because you write that your husband has made great changes. An abusive person is one who allows their thoughts and actions to be inspired by Satan and his evil forces. It takes the power of God to deliver a person to from that kind of bondage. Your husband may not be aware that God is helping him, but God is intervening because you have faith and desire for righteousness in your life. God is honoring your desires. God has also made it possible for you to remarry this man that He is preparing for you. What a blessing! This is so special! God is pouring out his grace (unearned favors received from God) to cover all the wrongs in you and your husband's past. Can any other person in the whole world be as important to you as a man that God is grooming for you? To have a husband that God chooses is one of the most important things in a woman's life. A good husband makes your life a joy and a woman with a godly family is truly blessed. Look at the value God places on teaching your family his words in theses next scriptures.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 These commandments (The Holy Bible) that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 

God wants us to be surrounded by and rooted in His word. He wants to be an integral part of a family. The words in the Bible are life, which is God's powerful bond that makes a family well, strong and whole. When you make God and his word the center of your family's daily life a strong attachment forms between each individual. That attachment is supported by God and creates a family unit of strength that all the demons in Hell can't tear down. It's security in God!

When you and your husband put God first everyday by prayer and receiving something from The Bible together (even if you start with just one scripture from the New Testament) you have the key to a successful marriage. Talk to God during the day about what you have read. Plan or think about what you will read tomorrow. Make it a special time between you and your husband. It can be done at mealtime if you like or any time it's a convenient time for him; he is a man who should be honored for the good changes he has made. Your actions will bind the mental torment that Satan is inflicting upon your mind. It will give the Holy Spirit a tool to use in rebuilding your love for one another. You have power to completely turn this situation around; the scriptures confirm it.

Next you need to understand some things that may seem tough, but please bear with me and you will receive your deliverance. Take one last good look at this man you've been thinking about and answer some serious questions.

1. Did he ever do anything to help you without snatching you out of the hand of God? No, he brought sin and shame into your life, through a spirit of lust, which torments you to this day.

2. If you were a born again Christian when this man entered your life, he would have caused you to become a backslider. Since your husband was abusive and you left him and it was to be permanent, it really wouldn't have mattered if you remarried. And that relationship should have been rooted in God. So did he honor you and ask you to marry him?

3. Did he love and cherish you as the Bible says a relationship between a man and a woman should be? Relationships aren't a lot of work when God is in the center of them.

4. Did he even keep himself completely for you? You say red flags went up. He chose lust over love.

Colossian 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

This man took you captive when you were extremely weak, physically, mentally and spiritually, and he is still holding you with a deceptive philosophy (a deceptive philosophy is a human belief without the influence of God's truth). It's the philosophy that a relationship outside of marriage is okay, one that runs rampant in the world today. And now demons have added to that philosophy. They rule in your mind with desire for him and feelings of missing him. It's Satan's way of defeating your marriage, something good that God desperately wants in your life. Your answer to anything that is trying to interfere with what God is doing for you is: "NO YOU DON'T, by the power of Jesus Christ" Practice using those words and similar words every time even the tiniest thought of that man invades your mind. You will learn to override those thoughts with the power of God.

This man cut off anything that God could have done to save your marriage the first time, and now those demons of lust are trying to destroy your marriage the second time. This is demonic oppression. Oppression is an outside force of demon activity that has attacked the mind of a person but does not live in the soul yet, however that spirit is forcing his way in. That is why it must be stopped. When a person gives in to those thoughts and acts out the sin. It severs their relationship with God, making Satan the master of their thoughts and actions. Oppression often causes depression because is like war. When you want to do good things and those thoughts are continually fighting against you, it exhausts you mentally as well as physically. If you let them continue putting thoughts in your mind of loving and missing this man, which are actually thoughts of lust and desire for a man who is not your husband, they will take you over and you will act on their influence. They have no right to be in your mind with any thoughts what so ever! Now, you want them out, God wants them out and they have no choice but to go. Many people have this same kind of problem and never realize that it's oppression by evil forces. They believe it's all within themselves. They want a better life but battle against wrong desires and thoughts over, and over again throughout their lives, simply because they don't know how to control their thoughts. The test is: if it were your own thought, would you feel torment. Absolutely not! You wouldn't do that to yourself and God never torments anyone, so who's left? Satan and his evil spirits. God gives us the power for deliverance but people are not aware of it. We can have all authority and power through Jesus Christ to change things that aren't good for us but Satan would like to keep us ignorant. So let's lean how to win this battle and have a peaceful loving future with your husband.

Jesus, as man, studied The Word to live free from sin and have access to the power of God for deliverance. We can do the same because he is our example. I am writing a series called "How To Solve Problems Using God's Power". The first part should be posted by the end of next week. It will help you so much. I am giving you some of it now so you learn some background as to why Satan attacks peoples mind and how to control unwanted thoughts. Then you can learn more from the series later.

Although the blood of Jesus was holy, from God through the immaculate birth (the blood of every child comes from his father), Jesus was human and lived in flesh like us, with the same temptations we have. Now we have our forefathers' blood and since Adam fell to sin, that created a sinful nature in each of us when we were born. But through repentance, asking forgiveness for our sins, we accept Christ as our savior. Then we are to study the Bible to learn to live righteous. Through this process God sees us as His children just as Jesus was his Child and God treats us equal, allowing us to follow the examples that Jesus set for us in using His power. Therefore, if you live the best you know how according to the Bible and humble yourself before God and pray, as Jesus did, you will have access to the same heavenly power that Jesus had. It's God's power that works through you that brings about deliverance for you and your family, the same as Jesus did for others during his ministry here on earth.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

God never intended for people to be bound by any part of the sin and death curse that Satan offers. We are to live in God's presence, choosing his goodness and receiving his greatness. Jesus gained victory over Satan and his influence of sin in this world when he gave his life on the cross. If we accept the fact that the sinless blood of Jesus covers our sins when we repent, then God never remembers those sins again. People may remember, but God never does. (Jeremiah 31:34) Now God expects each of his children to take back the authority Adam gave to Satan so many centuries ago.

Defeating Satan is so simple; we learn the truth in the Bible and speak aloud those truths. The Bible is God's word, recorded for us so that we can know him and learn about his ways. By believing what God recorded there, we can use the information we've learned along with the power of Jesus' name to defeat Satan. God enforces the words we speak because they are His words originally.

We are to take charge over every situation in our lives with the same type of powerful structure for deliverance as Jesus would. Many Christians are so unskilled at handling demons and they should not be. God expects us to learn his ways, use his strength to do like He did. He threw Satan out of heaven, never to be bothered by Him again. We are to throw him out of our lives by using the same power God did, His holy power. Knowing his word is the key to access His power.

Luke 10:18-19 He (Jesus) replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions (demons and evil of any kind) and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

Mark 16:15-17 He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons... they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

Sickness can be anything that affects our mind or body. Christians have access to God's authority and don't know it. Satan robs them of that authority when he keeps them from reading the Word of God. The Bible is the most important tool you'll ever own. You do not have to stay in the condition you are in; there is power from God for you to be completely made whole.

How does Satan gain so much access to us when we are saved? The mind of a human being is the playground for Satan and his workers because of our sinful nature. A sinful nature does not mean that if you have repented and accepted Jesus as your savior you are a sinful person or a sinner. It means that we have a weak nature and are easily tempted or influenced by Satan to do the wrong things. God is Spirit and lives in a spirit realm. We were created to be like God so we are a spirit but we live on earth in an earthly body made of dust. ( Genesis 2:4-7) Because our flesh is of the earth and feelings are a large part of our earthly body we are easily influenced by what goes on in earth's society. But as we grow in the ways of the Lord our spirit comes alive to God's Spirit.

Colossians 2:9-15 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. (fullness means you have authority, you are now in his army on earth) In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature...When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. (This means the law of the old testament was fulfilled and now through Jesus the law would be active in your heart.) And having disarmed the powers and authorities, (Satan's and his evil works) he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

When Jesus died on the cross, the system of access to God's power changed. Through the blood of Jesus, people no longer had to go through the priest with sacrifices but could go directly to God in his Son's name and receive the benefits that heaven has to offer.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy (love, favor) and find grace to help us in our time of need.

This is your biblical proof that a born again Christian now has authority and can overcome anything Satan tries.

When learning God's ways, we are filling our souls with God's spiritual power, making it easier to overcome the temptations of this world. You can't fight spiritual evil with human knowledge that comes from education. Neither will medical or legal knowledge be totally successful in stopping a person's evil action. People who are unsaved, without the power of God to help them, have no other choice but to use the knowledge of this world.

Sometimes demons can be suppressed and kept under a certain amount of control using medicine and other medical methods. For example: it's said that alcoholism is a disease, and once you're an alcoholic you're always an alcoholic, you're just in remission. Remission is the word medical science uses for controlling demon activity. If a person suppresses such things as smoking, cussing or other types of demon activity that is oppressing them, for a long enough time, that demon will leave at least for a while. But that's the hard way when Jesus can deliver a person immediately. With God you can have total deliverance never to be bothered by cravings or thoughts produced by that spirit again. However, total deliverance only comes through spiritual battles fought in the spiritual realm that you move into when you absorb the Word of God. Christians should always use God's word and fight in the spiritual realm where there is real heavenly power. As we take the Bible in through our eyes and ears we begin to develop our faith and we see how much better God's system of living really is. Although we still reside on earth, we live and act according to God's spiritual ways. Using our faith and living in righteousness allows us to receive miracles, healings and all kinds of blessings from God. We are all winners in God's family.

God gave Adam and Eve the free will to choose right or wrong, and he has done the same with us. As a result, Satan invades the mind of a person as often as they will let him. His purpose is to hinder them from receiving Godly input that will release them from his influence. He twists everything that he can possibly twist for his own evil works, So we must all clean house in our mind and keep it clear for God to use. Get rid of every thought that would not please God. Most people don't realize the power they can have over their own mind, so they let any thought that comes live there like it belongs. Anyone can get rid of any unwanted thought by replacing it with something else that is good. It takes some perseverance at times, but it works.

2Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they (God's weapons: The Word, faith and love) have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Never toy with something Satan puts in your mind. If it's something contrary to what the Bible says, it's wrong. It will never be right no matter how long you think about it. If you try to maneuver it into being right, it's still going to be wrong. It'll only cause you trouble if you let it remain in your mind. If you put a wrong thought into action it will eventually imprison you. 1John 5:17 All wrongdoing is sin... I heard a man say one time, "Sin takes you farther than you wanted to go, keeps you longer that you wanted to stay and costs you more that you wanted to pay." It's so true. So always fill your mind with songs and scriptures about the Lord. The things of God push Satan right out. Take away his playground and give it to God.

Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I hope you have learned something about controlling the thoughts that come in your mind. 2Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

These are some steps you should take that will help you to turn your life around:

1. If you have not repented of your sins, go to God in prayer and ask forgiveness. Encourage your husband to go with you. If he has not repented and taken Jesus as his savior ask him to start a new life with you by doing so. For help, see our Salvation Prayer page.

2. If you have repented then have a quiet time with the Lord. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."

3. Talk to the Lord, thanking him for what he has already done and what he is going to do in your life; give Him praise and worship. He likes to hear you pray from His scripture. A good place to start is Psalm 100 and 101.

4. Spend time in His presence and let Him renew you. Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Jeremiah 31:23-25 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "When I bring them back from captivity, (this is you) the people in the land of Judah and in its towns will once again use these words: 'The Lord bless you, O righteous dwelling, O sacred mountain.' (this means that from now on your thoughts and speech will be about God and his way of living) People will live together in Judah and all its towns--farmers and those who move about with their flocks. (This means that you will have a good peaceful and prosperous life) I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." The scriptures are for you personally, insert your name and your husband's name everywhere there is something good and God will bless you with it. Practice this and never give up. Don't be moved by what you see, believe what it says in the Word of God. He's your heavenly Father and he loves you so much.

Philippians 4:19 My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

5. Begin to make goals for the future that include your husband, even if you start with just a picnic next week. You said, "Some days I want to go to sleep, and not wake up." Waking up will be the best part of your day from now on. You will walk with your hand in the hand of God. Being with Him and the husband God gave you will inspire goals for the future. Look at what the Lord says to you.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

6. Find a church if you don't have one. We always look for a Church of God or Assembly of God. They are spirit filled churches and we find they will help you grow in the Lord the fastest. However, most of your learning should be done daily and by the Holy Spirit teaching you. Pray much and believe God will direct you to the right church.

7. Make sure you have a Bible you can understand. If all you have is a King James Version I suggest that you eventually get something easier to read. The one I like best is the NIV (New International Version). I have read many NIV Study Bibles but the one that reveals the most depth and insight to God's "spiritual meaning" of his word is the Life in the Spirit Study Bible . It has footnotes from the prospective of a person who has obeyed the commandment of Jesus; which was to receive the fullness or infilling of the Holy Spirit as described in the book of Luke.

Luke 24:49 I (Jesus) am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.

Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; ...

These were not sinners he was talking to they were believers, just like when we gave our heart to Jesus, we became believers. This is a separate event in the life of a Christian. There are three main events that establish a person firmly in the perfect will of God.

Acts 2:38-39 Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, (immersed in water, as Jesus was) every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off--for all whom the Lord our God will call."

So now that your saved make plans to be water baptized. 1Peter 3:21 and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also--not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. Then go on to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in God's heavenly language. God loves you. Never have any fear when you are seeking and receiving the things of God. Pray to receive the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues; scripture says it's a gift from God. Relax and worship the Lord, allow yourself to speak the words the Spirit gives you, it will be a heavenly language to praise God with. Let the Holy Spirit fill you completely and receive more power for learning and producing God's works in your life as well as others.

The NIV Bible is available to read on the Internet at: http://www.biblegateway.com other versions are also available there. If you want to purchase a NIV Life in the Spirit Study Bible and your bookstore doesn't carry it (because many people don't believe they need the infilling of the Holy Spirit and some believe it came with salvation) then you can get it through Amazon.com from our web page, it comes in leather or hardback.

8. Save up to buy the NIV Bible on CDs if you don't own a set. The tools you make assessable to your family are so important. When you fill your house or car with the Spirit of God that comes from the word it benefits everyone. These are also available on our web page.

9. Music softens the heart of a person so when the word is dropped into it, through reading or hearing, it will remain there and produce faith. Even a sinner will feel the draw of the Holy Spirit through Christian music. Use music in your home or car to create a godly atmosphere.

10. There are many good preachers and teachers on the Internet that will help you learn. Here's a list of my favorites.

I have given you the best knowledge I could for your situation. I know God will help you and you will receive total deliverance from the torment you've been going through. God loves you so much.