Your marriage is not over. God wants to rebuild your marriage, but it will take both of you. Since your husband wants to stay with you and he has already made changes in his life, God will continue to help him, and rebuild your love for him. It's not necessary for you to know his past, do your best to forgive and forget. Keep you mind on building the future and what God will do for you. If you and your husband will read our article together on How To Find the Right Church, you will both learn how to find a place where you can finally grow together as a couple and in the Body of Christ. Since you are both trying so hard to rebuild your marriage, doing things God's way will change the feelings you have for each other in your hearts.

After reading the article, go to our Salvation Prayer page and, together, pray and dedicate your lives to the Lord. You need to read your Bible together, pray together, and put God at the head of your marriage. You can find resources online that you can enjoy together that will help as well. God loves you so much and is so eager to start your marriage new.

If you really love him then you will do everything possible to bring God into his life and the lives of you and your children. God is the only one who can work this kind of situation out in a satisfactory manner. You say he denies their relationship; that's normal for anyone without salvation and the love of Jesus Christ flowing through their heart. If he is saying that then the thing to do is take him at his word and be free from the bondage those thoughts bring to your mind. If you really love him and want to save him from destroying the rest of his life then change your thought process.

Questioning him about the relationship or wishing it wasn't happening won't change him. Changes in a person's heart take place when they repent of their sin and take Jesus as their Lord. Then as they grow the heart or desires of a person are influenced by the Holy Spirit to do the right things at all times. In this way each person has the ability to become what God wants them to be and is pleasing to everyone around them. Your husband needs the power of salvation and the Holy Spirit moving for him and through him.

If you want to save your family from more heartache then set a new standard in your lifestyle. Focus on the future and never look back. Get the Holy Spirit moving in your home by reading your Bible, praying and worshiping the Lord. It will begin the healing process for all of you. Speak the Word of God in your conversations; which will come as you read or listen to the Bible. It gives the Holy Spirit something to work with in the heart of the other person. Faith or belief that comes from the Bible opens the mind and heart of a person to the knowledge of the greatness that God wants to produce in their lives. Without that knowledge a person believes that sinful ways are right and fulfilling until they find out how much damage it has caused.

Proverbs 14:12 also Proverbs 16:25 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

You must "show" your husband the new way that your family is going to live from now on. Then you won't be sick of the problem because you have passed beyond that wall of despair. Pray that

Don't think about the past anymore it's a tool for Satan to depress you. What your husband did or will do is his responsibility, not yours. The day will come when he'll have to answer to God for his mistakes. Your job, as his wife, is to help him find a life in Christ that will lead to righteous living. There isn't anything that you can do at this time that is more important. So go for God with everything you have in you! Keep your mind on the future you desire and on the good things of God that you find in the Bible or see through others. Be thankful for every good thing in your live. Thanksgiving moves the heart of God. When a spouse has been hurt so much but they find the strength to take control, by keeping their own mind on the promises of God, then the Holy Spirit produces major changes in the whole family.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

If your husband will go with you to our Salvation Prayer Page, pray together and give your hearts to the Lord. Since he says he needs you and your strength is going to come from the Lord, encourage him to grow with you and start a new beginning. Salvation will wash all his sins away, then together you will be able to decide what to do about the other child. If he feels he has to support the child then don't be upset by it. It doesn't mean that he has to maintain a relationship with the child's mother. Many people have to pay a price for the sins they committed before they found Jesus. Encourage him and lift him up the way Jesus would do. Pondering on the story of how Jesus treated the woman who was caught in adultery will help you to be Christ like in your actions toward him.

John 8: 1-11 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Jesus took pity on her because she was lost in sin, so he gave her an opportunity for a new life. Don't let anger or hurt rob you or your husband of that new life. Talk to him and be understanding of whatever he says. Even if what he says hurts; pray at that moment and let Jesus give you strength, knowledge and wisdom to help him. Pray together and guide him in the ways of the Lord. Create the intimacy you once had and begin to trust again since he has chosen you over the other woman. When he says he loves you and needs you he is crying for help, which means he wants that new life with you but doesn't know how to get it. Start over together but this time keep him grounded in the Word of God. Clean house of anything that is against God's will for you and create an atmosphere that invites the presence of the Lord to live there. Put the time and effort into your new life in Christ so it will be stable and the two of you will have many full, prosperous and happy years ahead.

Find a good church and the right teachers for your family. Ones that believe biblically the whole truth that's written in God's Holy Bible. Here are some links that will help you get started. We will be praying for you.

How To Find The Right Church

Where To Get The Bible You Need

God's Anointing On TV And The Internet

The most important sentence you said was, "But I still love him and wish everything would rewind and go back to being good." Your life together can be better than ever before if you forget everything in the past and go to him with a stretched out hand and help him. He's possessed with lustful spirits and they drive him. He lets them, but they are the one's in control. A person is never happy being pushed in sin like he is; so help him by taking charge of your marriage. Wouldn't you help him if he had cancer or became blind? Well, he is blind to the miracle delivering power of God. Begin to read the Bible in your home and get it on tape or CD and play it every day. If you don't have the right tools you won't grow in the Lord to find peace and joy like the Bible promises. Read my article on Where To Get The Bible You Need.

Find a good church and get him to go with you. Read my article How To Find The Right Church

Find good programing on TV to watch with him God's Anointing On TV And The Internet

Don't waste a minute longer allowing Satan to take your husband away from you. He will end up in hell someday. You don't want to think of him in an eternal hell without you at least trying to help him.

You ask how do you pray. Ask God to deliver him and confess God's word over him. Take him to our Salvation Prayer Page and pray with him. Be pushy but extremely loving and understanding. Don't allow yourself to be hurt by anything he says. It's most likely demons who speak through him at this point and they will want to stop anything your are doing to get him delivered from their bondage.

Luke 6:45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Get him to God anyway you can then you will be able to trust him. The two of you will be able to rebuild your marriage and be happy.

Jude 1: 22-23 Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear, hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.

It may take a while before he is willing to follow you completely but be persistent and watch for changes that reflect God at work in his mind and heart.

It's not necessary to believe him about all that he did in the past at this point. Don't waste time and effort going over what Satan has done to your family. Go strictly by the Word of God. Any marriage where two people still care about each other is worth saving. Focusing on rebuilding your marriage will defeat all the efforts that Satan tried. Take the trip but you set the rules. Getting the other woman out of his life is not the answer to your problems; getting enough of God into his heart will get the results you desire.

Start your weekend with a serious talk and by taking the upper hand. Insist on a biblical change in his life by asking him to repent of his sins. Give him opportunity to start fresh with his family allowing God be the head of your household. Pray with him and lead him to the Lord don't expect him to do it latter. Then together make a plan for reading the Bible and include the children. Family worship is important.

If the people in your church are not equipped to help your family grow then find some place that will. You will have to nurture your husband because he is the weaker partner at this time.

If you choose to forgive him then you can become as one again in the eyes of God through sexual relations.

It's better to have him back in the home if you are really serious about teaching him and growing together. At all times be extremely kind but make it clear that you are the leader in the decisions concerning spiritual matters for your family. Also be willing to hear his views and pray about them. If he accepts your terms then forget the other woman and never mention her again. Look forward and don't condemn him, he was just acting out what Satan put in his mind to do. It will be up to you to put better things in his mind from now on. We are praying for you.

From your letter, I can see that feelings of guilt still weigh on your mind. You haven't forgiven yourself. Repent before God of what you've done, and God will forgive you. Then you will be able to forgive yourself, have a clear conscience, and your marriage can begin anew.

Then go to your husband and talk to him. Tell him you have taken your sin to God and He has forgiven you. Through Jesus Christ you have the strength to never disappoint Him again. Let him know you are firm in your new life with Christ, and you will be faithful to him forever. Tell him that you're thankful to him for choosing to love you and stay with you despite the way you hurt him. Then, if he isn't saved, lead him to the Lord and let Jesus Christ be the head of your household.

Forget the past and bring as much excitement to your lives as you possibly can. You will grow old with your husband and God will bless the two of you more than you've ever been blessed before.