Dear R,

I'm sure your Mom still loves you. She may be very busy or pre-occupied sometimes. It would be good for you to have a sweet loving talk with her and let her know how you feel. Sometimes when a person no longer lives in the same house with their child they don't quite know what that child needs or wants from them. She could simply be afraid of doing something wrong to anger you. She many feel that if she demands anything in your relationship it will hurt what she does have with you. Insecurity in a parent's relationship with their child can be an awful thing; so have a talk with her about your feelings and then pray together if she will let you. If she won't pray with you then you pray for her, and pray daily for her so God will get a hold of her heart. The Lord loves you and her too. He wants families to be together and caring for each other; so pray often and believe that he will help her. The closer you can get her to God the more love she will have for you. Reading the Bible, praying and worshiping God pleases Him and in return he answers our prayers and does many things to please us. God really loves you!

May God bless you richly,

Cherie

I'm so sorry to hear of your problem. You didn't give me much to go on. Does your husband know that you know about his affair? Whether he does or not it is time to prepare for battle. You are the only light of God's true love in this situation and that is how you can win over the darkness of Satan and the sin of lust (perverted love) he has tempted your husband with.

You have already made a great start by prayer and fasting. Ester changed the fate of her whole nation by calling on God's mercy with a 3 day fast. The ultimate fast for the power of God in a situation is a 40-day water fast and living in his presence with reading, praying and deep worship. Continue seeking God, let the Lord lead you in how much to fast and he will give you strength.

Although you are in great pain do not dwell on the situation or try to figure out how to fix it. God has all the answers and his ways are not our ways, they are miraculous. Be patient God has chosen you and loves you. If your husband can be won back for you, and for Jesus, he will use you to do it. Satan didn't steal him overnight and it takes time for God to deal with a human heart. The Lord's will is for everyone to be saved. He wants to soften a person's heart enough to change it and he'll do it in a way that Jesus will receive glory and honor from that person's life, however, it takes a lot of patients from us to wait for the changing power of God to help that person.

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. (Ephesians 1:11-12)

The Bible says the Lord guides our footsteps; so allow him to do so by keeping your mind stayed on Jesus, his love for you, and the miracles he has produced for others. Worship him and expect him to intervene for you as he has for thousands of others. He has a great future ahead for you.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

God is in the business of delivering and saving people; therefore the answer to this problem is deliverance for your husband's mind, spirit and soul. Continuing to pray, fast and seek God's deliverance for him is your next step, along with preparing yourself with the fruit of the Spirit so the Holy Spirit can use you. This is probably the most difficult part when you are so hurt, but you must be ready for service when God calls.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Once you feel you have the compassion of Jesus it is time to confront your husband with a loving heart. Do not argue with him. No matter how you feel, your composure and the tone of your voice are extremely important. Allow the compassion of Christ to move through you. It is your sword against Satan. You must remember at all times your husband is a sinner so he is acting like a sinner. He is bound and controlled by lustful demons in this situation. So be strong.

Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:11-12)

I don't know how long you have been a Christian, but many times we get caught up in spending time with the Lord and our spouse feels left out because they have not made the same commitment. Therefore they compensate in different ways to fill the loss that they are feeling. It is crucial to spend more quality, loving time with that person to assure them that they are important to us so they can maintain their feeling of security. It will also open their eyes to the value of the love that salvation provides.

People will search for something they think is better, sometimes getting caught up in a situation they don't know how to get out of, even if they wanted to. Therefore, they continue in that sin or move deeper into other sins. Your husband could be at a point of wanting a way out, especially since you have been praying and fasting. Watch for any little attitude in him that says, "I'd like to stop the sin and change," if you see that attitude make the change easy and convenient for him. Plan a time together that will result in helping him to change. Help can be such things as praying with him, reading the Bible to him, if he will let you (start the New Testament), you could also try counseling, or maybe even a short vacation. Remember you want to offer help not demand reform. However, in your gentleness don't compromise, if he doesn't find the Lord he will not change. Keep your attitude gentle and balanced.

Whether he wants to change or not you must remember "Sin is simply a lack of faith" and that is his basic problem.

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. (Romans 10:17)

Changing anyone's faith level can change his or her whole life. One way of getting the word into a person is simply talking to them. You don't need to make it sound like it comes from the Bible but using biblical principals and Bible words or phrases when you talk will help bring them into a faith position that the Holy Spirit can move for them. If you are not skilled in this pray and the Holy Spirit will help you.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:17-18)

Another thing you can do is to play Bible tapes or Christian music for yourself, it will not only strengthen you but will fill your home with God's spirit and if your husband hears bits and pieces of it the Holy Spirit can soften his heart and change him. Remember you can't change him. The power of God will have to do it. You only have to decide if you want to spend the time and effort it will take to save and rebuild your relationship since he broke the marriage vows.

During the times of confrontation, and there may be more than one, be prepared to talk the situation out completely with him. Don't be afraid of asking many questions but be prepared for the answers. Pray about what to ask and how to answer in return. During any confrontation prayer must be extremely involved. Be a good listener! He probably will not be interested in your feelings at this time, so work on his feelings. However, weigh out considerably any criticism he may give you, as he will be evaluating you and the whole situation by the world's standards not biblical standards. Don't make promises of any kind. That is not your place; you are the leader of this situation, the offender must be the submissive one. Remember you're God's child; you're the stronger one between the two of you. You have the upper hand and the favor of God. Respond to your husband with biblical answers (what I call 'life according to the Bible'). Your love and understanding can lead him into a place of remorse so be ready with a salvation prayer. The more you can get him to respond to you with answers about his feelings the better chance you have at re-establishing your relationship. Gently break into his secret world. Secrets cause divisions, assumptions that could be wrong, hard and hurt feelings and a multitude of other problems. It the devils's game of "divide and conquer".

As for the other woman pray for her deliverance and salvation. This way God can work on the situation at both ends.

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:27)

Even if you have done all of this in the past continue to do it again and again. I usually give a person 6 months to make heart felt permanent changes. Watch for little improvements. Persevere and trust in God. Even if your husband leaves, be the woman God designed you to be, and let Jesus put his arms around you.

I don't know what kind of relationship you had before but it always strains the relationship when one becomes a Christian. The sin of others causes us much suffering, but the grace of God gives us strength. God is family oriented and can rebuild love. Set a fair time period for change, especially if you have children and be confidant God will do his best to save your marriage.

...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5:3-5)

Write again and let me know how things are working out. My prayers are many for you and your family and when you have worked through this I pray that you both will have a bond that will be strong and secure in Jesus Christ.

I do believe God is answering your prayers for strength and guidance. There are some steps that you can take that could help you in getting your husband back, especially when God hates divorce. ( Malachi 2:16 )

First it appears that you are saved. If you haven't repented of your sins and you need help go to our Salvation Prayer page.

Fasting will make you sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leadership. Keep in mind, though, that God gave you the authority to make the changes in your life, and He won't do anything to deny you the freedom of choice He gave you.

As a Christian you are ready for service in the Lord's army and His plan is to save the souls of as many people possible. Your husband is one of those souls. Therefore, the best possible way to attract your husband again is to pray for his deliverance and believe that God will change his heart. I know this sounds strange but the woman he is seeing also needs to be saved, so remember her in your prayers. Feel free to add: "My husband belongs to me and she has to give him up". God gives us the desires of our hearts as we love and serve others. But you can be specific about what you want if God has written it in the Bible. And even though you have both sinned in the past God business is to heal your family. He wants to put your family back together, especially if you have children.

Next, do absolutely everything in your life God's way. If you grow in the Lord and your husband doesn't, you probably won't want him back where he'll hinder you. But you and I choose to believe that God will be able to change your husband's heart. You didn't say whether you have children or not; sometimes when a man has contact with his children and watches them change to a better way of life it inspires him to change too. The best you can do for now is to give yourself completely to the Lord and let Him comfort you and make your life new in Him. Then you will be effective when you pray for the Lord to draw all of your loved ones.

Try to talk face to face with your husband as much as possible so he will see the changes in you. Watching you grow in the Lord may inspire him to give his life to the Lord.

My new series "How To Solve Problems Using God's Power" will teach you how to access the power of God for continual deliverance from Satan's attacks. I am giving you part of the section on how faith works. You will have to read later how to bind Satan and his evil works for total deliverance in every situation.

Where do we get faith? Romans 10:17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ . Reading your Bible everyday is the most important thing you will ever do. Every word is power pack straight from the throne of heaven.

What is faith? Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure (sure is an absolute belief) of what we hope for (hope could be a dream or wish that is in accordance with God's desires for us) and certain (is unquestionable, self-confident) of what we do not see. So we have a hope or a dream and we speak God's word concerning that hope and we stand absolutely assured that it will be accomplished by the power of God. When God sees His faith, which comes from the Spirit of His Word, being use through a human being, I believe He gets excited.

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

What kind of faith must we have? Luke 17:6 He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, `Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.

Matthew 17:20 He (Jesus) replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, `Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Mountains represent anything that you need changed for the improvement of your life. This statement Jesus made shows just how powerful the smallest amount of faith in God is. It's thought to be Black Mustard that Jesus was referring to because it grew in that region. It's an annual plant whose seeds are among the very smallest, about 1 mm in diameter. It was a common plant and spread like a weed in the eastern world. Though it could grow to a height of six feet or more, a mature mustard plant would not normally be described as a tree but a bush. It is said to have the ability to grow in the poorest of soil with the least amount of nutrients, where other plants wouldn't grow.

That means that even though you are a new Christian, not knowing much of God's word and lacking in the maturity of God's ways, the smallest amount of faith will spread into every place necessary to change the situation and accomplish the problem at hand. Our part is to believe the word, say the word and continually use our faith to believe that God will do the rest. Even if we have missed the mark due to ignorance; but humbly have trust in His judgment concerning the matter at hand, he will teach us and direct us in his perfect ways. He will accomplish His desires in our lives that will bring glory and honor to Him.

I hope this will help you to stand strong and believe for the salvation of your husband.

How do we use faith that works? Active faith comes from what you "say" what you say must be backed up by what you believe from Bible teachings. Finding scripture that pertains to your problem may require a concordance and some searching. God has answers for every situation that comes into our lives. Using scripture is the best way to say what you want but using your own words confessing your belief in the scriptures will also work. Jesus said:

John 14: 12-14 I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Next, if you don't have a church, find one. We always look for a Church of God or Assembly of God. They are spirit filled churches and we find they will help you grow in the Lord the fastest. However, most of your learning should be done daily by the Holy Spirit teaching you. Pray often and believe God will direct you to the right church. If your church is not filling you full of God's love, then find one that will. God doesn't condemn, He loves. (John 8:11 and John 3:16-18)

You will need to go on to receive the fullness of God; which is the Baptism in the Holy Spirit as it was received in the Book of Acts. The Holy Spirit fills the earth and is the working part of God, and we must let Him live in us and work through us to have the most effective miracle power at any moment we need it. He is also our comforter and teacher. The initial physical evidence that you have received Him is that you will speak in tongues as the Holy Spirit gives you the utterance. It will be a heavenly language that is between you and God and will glorify the Lord Jesus Christ. Do not confuse this with the Gifts of the Spirit. There are three main events that establish a person firmly in the perfect will of God. Acts 2:38-39 Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, (immersed in water, as Jesus was) every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off--for all whom the Lord our God will call." God calls everyone. Those who receive his Son are to fulfill all the commandments God has given in his plan. When you do, it opens the door for the fullness of his blessings in your life and power to help others.

There are also many good preachers and teachers on TV and the Internet that will help you learn.

Dear Sister in the Lord,

I have prayed for God to totally restore your marriage and increase the love between the two of you. From what you have written I feel you are a woman who desires moral values to rule in your life. The fact that you say you fell in love with anther man before the divorce and that it was sin leads me to assume that you were either not a born again Christian or that you didn't have enough of God's power working in you to overcome the situation. Either way, you are not looking at the situation in the light of God's Word. The Bible has scriptures that will reveal the truth of the whole situation and that truth will set you free from the torment in your mind plus the depression you are going through.

John 8:31-32 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

You say you divorced your husband due to abuse issues from him and his family. When any person is abused, physically or mentally, they become desperate to find a way out of the situation. It's easy to understand that in a time of need, this other man came to your rescue and you would have feelings for him based on what he did for you. However you have proof that this was not the man God wanted you to love for a lifetime. God has already moved for you in such a miraculous way.

Everyday now you see what God has done for you because you write that your husband has made great changes. An abusive person is one who allows their thoughts and actions to be inspired by Satan and his evil forces. It takes the power of God to deliver a person to from that kind of bondage. Your husband may not be aware that God is helping him, but God is intervening because you have faith and desire for righteousness in your life. God is honoring your desires. God has also made it possible for you to remarry this man that He is preparing for you. What a blessing! This is so special! God is pouring out his grace (unearned favors received from God) to cover all the wrongs in you and your husband's past. Can any other person in the whole world be as important to you as a man that God is grooming for you? To have a husband that God chooses is one of the most important things in a woman's life. A good husband makes your life a joy and a woman with a godly family is truly blessed. Look at the value God places on teaching your family his words in theses next scriptures.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 These commandments (The Holy Bible) that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 

God wants us to be surrounded by and rooted in His word. He wants to be an integral part of a family. The words in the Bible are life, which is God's powerful bond that makes a family well, strong and whole. When you make God and his word the center of your family's daily life a strong attachment forms between each individual. That attachment is supported by God and creates a family unit of strength that all the demons in Hell can't tear down. It's security in God!

When you and your husband put God first everyday by prayer and receiving something from The Bible together (even if you start with just one scripture from the New Testament) you have the key to a successful marriage. Talk to God during the day about what you have read. Plan or think about what you will read tomorrow. Make it a special time between you and your husband. It can be done at mealtime if you like or any time it's a convenient time for him; he is a man who should be honored for the good changes he has made. Your actions will bind the mental torment that Satan is inflicting upon your mind. It will give the Holy Spirit a tool to use in rebuilding your love for one another. You have power to completely turn this situation around; the scriptures confirm it.

Next you need to understand some things that may seem tough, but please bear with me and you will receive your deliverance. Take one last good look at this man you've been thinking about and answer some serious questions.

1. Did he ever do anything to help you without snatching you out of the hand of God? No, he brought sin and shame into your life, through a spirit of lust, which torments you to this day.

2. If you were a born again Christian when this man entered your life, he would have caused you to become a backslider. Since your husband was abusive and you left him and it was to be permanent, it really wouldn't have mattered if you remarried. And that relationship should have been rooted in God. So did he honor you and ask you to marry him?

3. Did he love and cherish you as the Bible says a relationship between a man and a woman should be? Relationships aren't a lot of work when God is in the center of them.

4. Did he even keep himself completely for you? You say red flags went up. He chose lust over love.

Colossian 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

This man took you captive when you were extremely weak, physically, mentally and spiritually, and he is still holding you with a deceptive philosophy (a deceptive philosophy is a human belief without the influence of God's truth). It's the philosophy that a relationship outside of marriage is okay, one that runs rampant in the world today. And now demons have added to that philosophy. They rule in your mind with desire for him and feelings of missing him. It's Satan's way of defeating your marriage, something good that God desperately wants in your life. Your answer to anything that is trying to interfere with what God is doing for you is: "NO YOU DON'T, by the power of Jesus Christ" Practice using those words and similar words every time even the tiniest thought of that man invades your mind. You will learn to override those thoughts with the power of God.

This man cut off anything that God could have done to save your marriage the first time, and now those demons of lust are trying to destroy your marriage the second time. This is demonic oppression. Oppression is an outside force of demon activity that has attacked the mind of a person but does not live in the soul yet, however that spirit is forcing his way in. That is why it must be stopped. When a person gives in to those thoughts and acts out the sin. It severs their relationship with God, making Satan the master of their thoughts and actions. Oppression often causes depression because is like war. When you want to do good things and those thoughts are continually fighting against you, it exhausts you mentally as well as physically. If you let them continue putting thoughts in your mind of loving and missing this man, which are actually thoughts of lust and desire for a man who is not your husband, they will take you over and you will act on their influence. They have no right to be in your mind with any thoughts what so ever! Now, you want them out, God wants them out and they have no choice but to go. Many people have this same kind of problem and never realize that it's oppression by evil forces. They believe it's all within themselves. They want a better life but battle against wrong desires and thoughts over, and over again throughout their lives, simply because they don't know how to control their thoughts. The test is: if it were your own thought, would you feel torment. Absolutely not! You wouldn't do that to yourself and God never torments anyone, so who's left? Satan and his evil spirits. God gives us the power for deliverance but people are not aware of it. We can have all authority and power through Jesus Christ to change things that aren't good for us but Satan would like to keep us ignorant. So let's lean how to win this battle and have a peaceful loving future with your husband.

Jesus, as man, studied The Word to live free from sin and have access to the power of God for deliverance. We can do the same because he is our example. I am writing a series called "How To Solve Problems Using God's Power". The first part should be posted by the end of next week. It will help you so much. I am giving you some of it now so you learn some background as to why Satan attacks peoples mind and how to control unwanted thoughts. Then you can learn more from the series later.

Although the blood of Jesus was holy, from God through the immaculate birth (the blood of every child comes from his father), Jesus was human and lived in flesh like us, with the same temptations we have. Now we have our forefathers' blood and since Adam fell to sin, that created a sinful nature in each of us when we were born. But through repentance, asking forgiveness for our sins, we accept Christ as our savior. Then we are to study the Bible to learn to live righteous. Through this process God sees us as His children just as Jesus was his Child and God treats us equal, allowing us to follow the examples that Jesus set for us in using His power. Therefore, if you live the best you know how according to the Bible and humble yourself before God and pray, as Jesus did, you will have access to the same heavenly power that Jesus had. It's God's power that works through you that brings about deliverance for you and your family, the same as Jesus did for others during his ministry here on earth.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

God never intended for people to be bound by any part of the sin and death curse that Satan offers. We are to live in God's presence, choosing his goodness and receiving his greatness. Jesus gained victory over Satan and his influence of sin in this world when he gave his life on the cross. If we accept the fact that the sinless blood of Jesus covers our sins when we repent, then God never remembers those sins again. People may remember, but God never does. (Jeremiah 31:34) Now God expects each of his children to take back the authority Adam gave to Satan so many centuries ago.

Defeating Satan is so simple; we learn the truth in the Bible and speak aloud those truths. The Bible is God's word, recorded for us so that we can know him and learn about his ways. By believing what God recorded there, we can use the information we've learned along with the power of Jesus' name to defeat Satan. God enforces the words we speak because they are His words originally.

We are to take charge over every situation in our lives with the same type of powerful structure for deliverance as Jesus would. Many Christians are so unskilled at handling demons and they should not be. God expects us to learn his ways, use his strength to do like He did. He threw Satan out of heaven, never to be bothered by Him again. We are to throw him out of our lives by using the same power God did, His holy power. Knowing his word is the key to access His power.

Luke 10:18-19 He (Jesus) replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions (demons and evil of any kind) and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

Mark 16:15-17 He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons... they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

Sickness can be anything that affects our mind or body. Christians have access to God's authority and don't know it. Satan robs them of that authority when he keeps them from reading the Word of God. The Bible is the most important tool you'll ever own. You do not have to stay in the condition you are in; there is power from God for you to be completely made whole.

How does Satan gain so much access to us when we are saved? The mind of a human being is the playground for Satan and his workers because of our sinful nature. A sinful nature does not mean that if you have repented and accepted Jesus as your savior you are a sinful person or a sinner. It means that we have a weak nature and are easily tempted or influenced by Satan to do the wrong things. God is Spirit and lives in a spirit realm. We were created to be like God so we are a spirit but we live on earth in an earthly body made of dust. ( Genesis 2:4-7) Because our flesh is of the earth and feelings are a large part of our earthly body we are easily influenced by what goes on in earth's society. But as we grow in the ways of the Lord our spirit comes alive to God's Spirit.

Colossians 2:9-15 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. (fullness means you have authority, you are now in his army on earth) In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature...When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. (This means the law of the old testament was fulfilled and now through Jesus the law would be active in your heart.) And having disarmed the powers and authorities, (Satan's and his evil works) he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

When Jesus died on the cross, the system of access to God's power changed. Through the blood of Jesus, people no longer had to go through the priest with sacrifices but could go directly to God in his Son's name and receive the benefits that heaven has to offer.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy (love, favor) and find grace to help us in our time of need.

This is your biblical proof that a born again Christian now has authority and can overcome anything Satan tries.

When learning God's ways, we are filling our souls with God's spiritual power, making it easier to overcome the temptations of this world. You can't fight spiritual evil with human knowledge that comes from education. Neither will medical or legal knowledge be totally successful in stopping a person's evil action. People who are unsaved, without the power of God to help them, have no other choice but to use the knowledge of this world.

Sometimes demons can be suppressed and kept under a certain amount of control using medicine and other medical methods. For example: it's said that alcoholism is a disease, and once you're an alcoholic you're always an alcoholic, you're just in remission. Remission is the word medical science uses for controlling demon activity. If a person suppresses such things as smoking, cussing or other types of demon activity that is oppressing them, for a long enough time, that demon will leave at least for a while. But that's the hard way when Jesus can deliver a person immediately. With God you can have total deliverance never to be bothered by cravings or thoughts produced by that spirit again. However, total deliverance only comes through spiritual battles fought in the spiritual realm that you move into when you absorb the Word of God. Christians should always use God's word and fight in the spiritual realm where there is real heavenly power. As we take the Bible in through our eyes and ears we begin to develop our faith and we see how much better God's system of living really is. Although we still reside on earth, we live and act according to God's spiritual ways. Using our faith and living in righteousness allows us to receive miracles, healings and all kinds of blessings from God. We are all winners in God's family.

God gave Adam and Eve the free will to choose right or wrong, and he has done the same with us. As a result, Satan invades the mind of a person as often as they will let him. His purpose is to hinder them from receiving Godly input that will release them from his influence. He twists everything that he can possibly twist for his own evil works, So we must all clean house in our mind and keep it clear for God to use. Get rid of every thought that would not please God. Most people don't realize the power they can have over their own mind, so they let any thought that comes live there like it belongs. Anyone can get rid of any unwanted thought by replacing it with something else that is good. It takes some perseverance at times, but it works.

2Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they (God's weapons: The Word, faith and love) have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Never toy with something Satan puts in your mind. If it's something contrary to what the Bible says, it's wrong. It will never be right no matter how long you think about it. If you try to maneuver it into being right, it's still going to be wrong. It'll only cause you trouble if you let it remain in your mind. If you put a wrong thought into action it will eventually imprison you. 1John 5:17 All wrongdoing is sin... I heard a man say one time, "Sin takes you farther than you wanted to go, keeps you longer that you wanted to stay and costs you more that you wanted to pay." It's so true. So always fill your mind with songs and scriptures about the Lord. The things of God push Satan right out. Take away his playground and give it to God.

Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I hope you have learned something about controlling the thoughts that come in your mind. 2Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

These are some steps you should take that will help you to turn your life around:

1. If you have not repented of your sins, go to God in prayer and ask forgiveness. Encourage your husband to go with you. If he has not repented and taken Jesus as his savior ask him to start a new life with you by doing so. For help, see our Salvation Prayer page.

2. If you have repented then have a quiet time with the Lord. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."

3. Talk to the Lord, thanking him for what he has already done and what he is going to do in your life; give Him praise and worship. He likes to hear you pray from His scripture. A good place to start is Psalm 100 and 101.

4. Spend time in His presence and let Him renew you. Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Jeremiah 31:23-25 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "When I bring them back from captivity, (this is you) the people in the land of Judah and in its towns will once again use these words: 'The Lord bless you, O righteous dwelling, O sacred mountain.' (this means that from now on your thoughts and speech will be about God and his way of living) People will live together in Judah and all its towns--farmers and those who move about with their flocks. (This means that you will have a good peaceful and prosperous life) I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." The scriptures are for you personally, insert your name and your husband's name everywhere there is something good and God will bless you with it. Practice this and never give up. Don't be moved by what you see, believe what it says in the Word of God. He's your heavenly Father and he loves you so much.

Philippians 4:19 My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

5. Begin to make goals for the future that include your husband, even if you start with just a picnic next week. You said, "Some days I want to go to sleep, and not wake up." Waking up will be the best part of your day from now on. You will walk with your hand in the hand of God. Being with Him and the husband God gave you will inspire goals for the future. Look at what the Lord says to you.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

6. Find a church if you don't have one. We always look for a Church of God or Assembly of God. They are spirit filled churches and we find they will help you grow in the Lord the fastest. However, most of your learning should be done daily and by the Holy Spirit teaching you. Pray much and believe God will direct you to the right church.

7. Make sure you have a Bible you can understand. If all you have is a King James Version I suggest that you eventually get something easier to read. The one I like best is the NIV (New International Version). I have read many NIV Study Bibles but the one that reveals the most depth and insight to God's "spiritual meaning" of his word is the Life in the Spirit Study Bible . It has footnotes from the prospective of a person who has obeyed the commandment of Jesus; which was to receive the fullness or infilling of the Holy Spirit as described in the book of Luke.

Luke 24:49 I (Jesus) am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.

Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; ...

These were not sinners he was talking to they were believers, just like when we gave our heart to Jesus, we became believers. This is a separate event in the life of a Christian. There are three main events that establish a person firmly in the perfect will of God.

Acts 2:38-39 Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, (immersed in water, as Jesus was) every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off--for all whom the Lord our God will call."

So now that your saved make plans to be water baptized. 1Peter 3:21 and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also--not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. Then go on to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in God's heavenly language. God loves you. Never have any fear when you are seeking and receiving the things of God. Pray to receive the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues; scripture says it's a gift from God. Relax and worship the Lord, allow yourself to speak the words the Spirit gives you, it will be a heavenly language to praise God with. Let the Holy Spirit fill you completely and receive more power for learning and producing God's works in your life as well as others.

The NIV Bible is available to read on the Internet at: http://www.biblegateway.com other versions are also available there. If you want to purchase a NIV Life in the Spirit Study Bible and your bookstore doesn't carry it (because many people don't believe they need the infilling of the Holy Spirit and some believe it came with salvation) then you can get it through Amazon.com from our web page, it comes in leather or hardback.

8. Save up to buy the NIV Bible on CDs if you don't own a set. The tools you make assessable to your family are so important. When you fill your house or car with the Spirit of God that comes from the word it benefits everyone. These are also available on our web page.

9. Music softens the heart of a person so when the word is dropped into it, through reading or hearing, it will remain there and produce faith. Even a sinner will feel the draw of the Holy Spirit through Christian music. Use music in your home or car to create a godly atmosphere.

10. There are many good preachers and teachers on the Internet that will help you learn. Here's a list of my favorites.

I have given you the best knowledge I could for your situation. I know God will help you and you will receive total deliverance from the torment you've been going through. God loves you so much.

Help Your Husband Out Of Depression

I'm so glad you wrote. I am sure you are worried for nothing. You married your husband in good faith, and took vows to stand by him in sickness and in health. This is your chance to prove it because depression is a type of illness. A person's mind sometimes can't handle present situations and parts of the brain need time to rest and make decisions about the problems that are affecting them. This a good place for guidance and understanding, being careful not to add to the pressure he is already experiencing. I wouldn't rush him to a doctor for depression medicine, though they sometimes help many times medicine can make things worse. When a family member, friend or even if I'm struggling through a bad time or feel down we go to General Nutrition for advice, like vitamin C, Ginseng, or B12. Sometimes a good 2 week body cleanse and a change of diet will perk a person up. I like a 3 day water or juice fast. Check his sleep. Is he getting enough deep sleep, are the hours regular. Massages before bed time can relax him changing the way he feels throughout the day. His whole life could change just because he's looking forward to the next massage. Sometimes just a short trip for a day or two will make all the difference in how a person feels. Anyway, aside from checking out the medical side of his depression, you must always take him at his word until he proves that his word is not valid. If he say's that depression affects him and you know he's home when he should be, then believe him. Don't ever let distrust become a barrier between the two of you. He married you because he loved you; of course he still loves you. The attraction is still there if you are still fixing yourself up "for him" and "fussing over him to please him". Most husbands feel that it's not so important about your shape, especially when you're pregnant, but how you present yourself. How you present yourself includes your appearance, level of humor and fun, your attitude toward him and life in general, and what you do for him; once more, what ever you did to catch him, still do it. A husband wants to be the center of his wife's life before pregnancy and even after the 3^rd child is born. It is biblical for each partner in a marriage to put God first and then each other before the kids. That way there is a strong union between husband and wife and the children will never be neglected or made to suffer.

Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with your entire mind." This is the first and greatest commandment.

When there are changes in a relationship it is important not to do anything that could be considered nagging, repetitive questioning or excessive pushing to get him to do something for you. Treat that relationship change as though the person has a sickness; one that only you have the power to nurse them back to health. Your whole attitude is extremely important so smile; even if it hurts smile; and keep on smiling every day, through everything. Absolutely no more crying, God is going to help you but he can't give you ideas of what to do or lead you in doing them if you are crying or having a pity party. You won't hear Him, you're only response will be to the bad emotions you are creating. Turn every tear into thanksgiving to God for His help in turning things around. Thanksgiving is the key to getting God to move in any situation. You're the only one who can bring your husband out of this mood and still keep your marriage alive, so no more tears.

1Thessalonian 5:16-18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

(Some people get this scripture confused. It says "in all circumstances" not "for all circumstances". We are to hate the works of the evil one and fight his powers of darkness and that's done by prayer and petition to God, with praise and thanksgiving for His strength to overcome.)

Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Depression definitely does affect a person's sexual drive along with many other areas of their live and the lives of those around them. Your husband's depression has already affected how you feel and act, so let's get rid of his depression, then you both can enjoy having this baby. Depression is just one of many tools Satan uses to attack and separate people, so let's attack Satan back.

James 4:7-8 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.

1. Your husband needs a friend, a confidant at this time more than he needs a lover, so you be that confidant. Talk to him about all the things "he" likes; talk, talk and then talk some more. If you're not interested in what he likes, such as sport, books, cars etc., become interested, just make sure it's not sinful so God will bless you both. Get knowledge on what he likes if you need to. Although, I am not a sports person at all, my husband is a deer hunter; so I cook it, eat it, and save picture and stories about hunting for him. We drive around and look for good hunting areas and I've even climbed a muddy hill, in my Sunday clothes, to see his favorite tree in the woods, just because I love him. If you give your husband enough sweet understanding time, along with unconditional love, it will lead to intimate expressions and a deeper healthy sexual relationship. Who knows, all this could have started over something as little as he didn't want to hurt the baby by having sex and he doesn't know what to replace it with. Having a baby so early in a marriage is hard for a man. He feels like he just became the cat that caught the canary and now there is competition. Most men don't get married to have babies; having a woman to call their own is what they really wanted, babies are the by-product, so continue to be that woman he married and make the baby the bonus.

2. Men don't under stand a lot of things about pregnancy and get very mixed emotions. Sometimes a wife's moods will affect his moods; sometimes he has sympathy pains because he knows she doesn't feel her best. Some men even get false contraction. Then if the wife doesn't understand his problems, it makes him feel even more insecure. His moods are never a true picture of what's going on inside him. Be sure to always talk in a way that he feels he is your partner in carrying this child. Keep your husband at the center of attention in any conversation where he is present; however keep tabs on his ego as not to get it too inflated. We don't want the wrong spirit to take him over, either. First you need to know that carrying his child is the most important thing you will ever do for him, and you should express it to him often. A man's seed growing inside his wife is the most intimate thing two people can share. A man's seed was so important to God that if a man died before he had a child his brother was to take his brother's widow for his wife and she was to bare his seed and have a child for her late husband.

Matthew 22:23-30 That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. "Teacher," they said, "Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?" Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.

3. When you talk to your husband about the baby let him know how pleased you are to be so close to him through this time and how much you need him. Confession, through the words you speak, is faith. When you produce faith words and actions it gives God the substance he needs to fulfill the answers to your prayers. Your words and thanksgiving to God will bring about what you need to its fullness through miracle power.

Matthew 9:20-22 Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, "If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed." Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

This was a woman who was forbidden to be in public because of her uncleanness but went to see Jesus on the strength of her own confession. She was richly rewarded for her faith and received her miracle. So confess what you want with your mouth so God and everyone, including Satan will know what you're believing for; and never waiver.

This child is the greatest thing that your husband will ever produce in his lifetime. The Bible says that a child is a gift from God. Your husband needs to feel that. Also talk future with him. How the baby will look like him, his/her nature will probably be sweet like his, he/she will follow in your husband's footsteps, such as business, sports, school, whatever you can come up with. Is he a camera buff, stir up his interest in taking pictures. Get a baby book and plan it with him. Be inventive. Remember you are healing your husband's thought process because whatever he thought or still thinks is what took him down the wrong road to depression.

4. You didn't say if you were both Christians, but try to get him to church. If he won't go then you go alone setting the example; in the months to come he will follow. Never stop going, Don't preach to him when you get home, just a simple I missed you is enough. Don't let going to church hinder your duties at home, such as fixing dinner etc. Plan ahead and fix something on Saturday if need be. If you don't have a church, look in the yellow pages for a one. Call them and interview them as to what they believe about salvation, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, healing, miracles and anything else that you know is true from God's word. The church you attend can mean the difference between a broken life or a prosperous life, also where you spend eternity, heaven or hell. Once more, not all churches get all their information and doctrines from God's Word. My husband and I always look for a Church of God or an Assembly of God; we feel they teach the fullness of the Bible. You can also get great lessons from the websites listed at the end of this letter.

You should express to your husband that you want to have the baby dedicated soon after birth. The Bible teaches baby dedication, so that God's blessings and safety will be on that child all through his/her life.

As a baby Jesus was dedicated according to the law: Luke 2:25- Luke 2: 40

The Bible does not teach water baptism for children under the age of accountability, as so many churches do. Water baptism is reserved for people who have repented of their sins and received salvation. It is their outward expression to God, our Father that we buried our old sinful life and we are resurrected into a new life with Jesus Christ as our Lord. (1Peter 3: 18 - 22, Matthew 28: 16 - 20, Acts 2: 38 - 39)

5. You didn't say if your husband drank alcohol. Alcohol feeds depression and so does some kinds of music. Try playing Christian music very softly when he is not listening to something he likes; that way you can wean him off of what he is listening to. You can find Christian stations on radio and TV. If he does drink try to cut him back, but use knowledge and wisdom. Don't antagonize him. Make one drink a night more special than 10 beers. Pray for him continually that God will draw him into a closer walk with Jesus.

6. Are the two of you touching or holding hands? If your husband doesn't touch, hug, kiss or hold you begin touching him. Do whatever he will allow and progress slowly from there. Sometimes a candle lit dinner will help, men like romance in spite of what they may say. God created the nervous system to respond in miraculous ways through touch. Just a touch given in love can change a person's whole prospective for their whole day and if done often enough it can change their whole life. Even if he refuses, never stop trying! Set aside time just to be with him when you know he won't be busy, even if he doesn't respond at first, keep doing it and soon you will be snuggling and intimacy will return into your lives.

7. If you suspect your husband of fowl play in anyway big or small, some men have been known to go temporarily insane when their wife gets pregnant, it boils down to one equation: Hormones + Insecurity = Stupidity. Don't ask him anything, don't desire to know, NEVER think about it or suspect it again. Usually suspicions are far worse than the truth and it will only destroy you; just concentrate on the love issue between you and him. Stay focused on being the most exciting woman he's ever known. He'll get his head on straight soon and probably never experience depression again.

8. When the baby comes he/she will take a lot of time. Make sure your husband gets plenty of time handling the baby. They need to bond immediately. Caring for the needs his child is the best way for them to bond; it reinforces the father's responsibility through love. You can teach your husband to help you while the baby is new and exciting. I not only did this when our son was born, but I did it with each new appliance I got. I know that sounds strange, but it has made my Husband very capable if anything should happen to me. My husband knows how to do everything from shopping and cooking to laundry and ironing. He never let me do any of his mending once I got a sewing machine. Doing things together that were needed for daily life bonded us together. We still, 39 years later, do many daily things together and it make us feel deeper involved in each other's lives.

May you both be rich in God's love!

Here is a list of sites that might interest you.