Dear Lakestra,

Continue to humble yourself before God. It gets results, the answers to our needs, especially when we don't know enough of the Word of God to take control of Satan and his work.

God loves you so much. The way to love him back is to learn what's in his word, The Holy Bible. Reading and learning is how He gives us his knowledge for every situation in life. His word is the standard to measure the situation by and the knowledge of how to change that situation for the good. When we know the Word and obey it the Holy Spirit has the freedom to teach us. Otherwise, the cares of the world speak louder in our heart than the voice of the Lord and we continue in the problem that satanic influences put us in.

As you dedicate yourself to researching the things of God, He will honor your prayers for reaching your children's father for His Kingdom. It's God's desire that everyone should be saved and that families be together. Go to my resource page and begin to seek Jesus with all your heart and allow God to miraculously change your life. Don't let anyone get in the way of your fight for the joy and peace that God will bring into your life. If possible get your boyfriend to grow with you in spite of what his family wants.

I have seen a situation just like yours developing over the last year and now the couple have planned a beautiful wedding for next month and their child is growing and learning about Jesus in the nursery at church. It's so wonderful what God can do if we just give ourselves completely to Him.

Under all circumstances live according to these two scriptures and receive God's best for you and your children.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-22 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.

Thanks for writing,

Cherie

You don't say whether or not you have tried to help your husband receive salvation. Even if you have he may not feel he can ask God for help because of his situation. I assure you that even in his double life, by having another family, God has answers for him and you can help him to find them.

2Peter 3:8-9 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

God is showing patience with your husband through you. He's not looking to punish us for our mistakes but to save us and help us. Your husband qualifies for God's mercy. Your husband can be saved simply by repentance for the wrong he has done throughout his life, and start a new life in Christ where he will learn to live righteous and be free from the bondage he's in. Just like you and I were in sin and have repented, it's no different for him, he needs to know it along with how much God loves him.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

God really does love him and will help him to work out this situation. In the next little while look for the right moment to lead him in a salvation prayer or take him to our salvation prayer page and pray with him. Let him know how much you love him and how important this is to you. Then he can begin to receive God's blessings here on earth and go on to receive an eternal life in heaven with you. God not only has answers for your husband but for all who are involved in your situation. God is such a loving and forgiving God. He is so used to untangling the messes people make of their lives because they yielded to the temptation and sin that Satan has offered.

You say you don't believe anything your husband says. Don't ask him anything about what's important to your life? At this time he is a sinner and will respond in a way that either he thinks you want to hear or that will keep himself out of the most trouble. I find that asking people who's mind is owned and operated by satanic influences rarely have the right answers, especially ones that are biblically based, so why ask them anything of value, it only causes disappointment.

If you work at making your environment and lifestyle as pleasing to God as possible and try to include him he will begin to make choices. Give him time to choose to accept the things you are doing and be ready with explanations. He will see your strength that God is giving you for a better life. He will either accept it, or walk away because he chooses to stay in bondage. Either way he chooses will give you the peace of God in your life. The answers to your questions will come as you watch his response to the changes you make. Let him see you pray; it will teach him how and draw him to follow your lead. Don't jump to conclusions just because you see him worse at first. Satan will try to keep him. It will be a battle for him to break loose so make it easy to choose your way, with the Lord, by showing him love, understanding and compassion. Go to my resource page for inspiration on how to continually fill your home with a godly atmosphere.

As for the Child, make an effort, no matter what happens in the future, to keep this child and teach him about the Lord. Find the best Sunday School class you can find and if you can afford Christian schooling, do so. If you don't have a good church, with knowledgeable people in the Word that can handle a situation like yours, then read my article on finding one. How To Find The Right Church Your church should welcome your husband with open arms, and his child also. There is no place in the heart of God's people for gossip. If this is a problem you can write me back. You say you consider yourself close to the 6 year old and he doesn't understand why you get mad when his dad spends time with his mom. You wonder if all this is good for the child. NO! It's very bad for the child mentally and emotionally. Your are not being a good godly witness when you respond to the situation with anger, especially in front of a small child. You must respond in faith if your going to see the godly changes you desire. Never show anger anymore. It will waste your time and energy. Use self-control so you can hear from God.

1 Peter 4:7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.

The root of anger is rebellion. When we are angry at Satan and his works we are rebelling against sin. When we are angry at people we are rebelling against someone who God has made in His image, then we hurt God. We are doing the same thing that Satan is, hurting God by hurting people that God loves. If we are angry we must examine that anger along with our motives for allowing it to be in our mind. Anger uses up our human resources if we can't turn it back on Satan where it will stop his efforts. Always make sure anger is directed at the proper source; which is Satan. Then we can use the Word to stop his works. When we allow wrong anger to control our mind it robs us of the ability to hear God's voice in our heart, as well as through his Word. It hinders our ability to move by the direction of the Holy Spirit and brings defeat, at the very least, for that period of time.

James 1: 19-25 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. (Being saved is a continuous process as we learn faith to defeat the battles in life) Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, (The Holy Bible) and continues to do this, (continues to study) not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it, he will be blessed in what he does.

1 Timothy 4:16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Spend the energy that anger uses on something that can produce results, like searching the scriptures for making confession of faith in trusting God. That way you are giving Him covenant acts that He has bound himself to honor with promised blessings.

Now let's see what else you can do. First look at the soul and spirit of the real mother of the 6 year old. You wrote, "She has even told him to lie about his dad spending time with them (like overnight) and that if he tells, his dad won't get to spend time with him." She is like Goliath spitting out lies and threats and working on others to do her same sinful deeds. Did he win the battle, absolutely not. Neither will she. The dogs ate Jezebel for forcing her way on people and manipulating them to sin. You need to take a good look at who your dealing with and know that God is on your side.

Now strengthen yourself for the battle and begin to empower yourself by saturating your mind with God's Word, it's your sword. The more you know, the bigger the sword is that you carry. The bigger the sword the more of God's power you have to defeat the enemy, which is Satan working through her. (See: The Armor of God) Start in the New Testament and go over it several times. Spend as much time as you can. God will honor your efforts. Especially read Paul's writings on how we are to conduct ourselves as God's holy people. Our good conduct increases our power from God through pleasing the Holy Spirit. Many people don't realize that the Holy Spirit is here at all times and sees everything. Here is just a sample of instructions that keeps the Holy Spirit working on our case.

1 Thessalonians 5:15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances (not for the bad circumstances as some has taught), for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.

If you don't have the Bible on CDs it will be the best investment you will ever make. Begin to think, speak and act strictly according to the Word. Be like Christ in all you say and do. Let the love of God begin to flow in all situations to all people, because faith works through love. In time your husband and all your children will see the change in you and desire it also. Watch what you say at all times. Keep your lips from doubt, anger, fear or anything that is not from the heart of God. Be like David, sure and sound that God will move for you because of your obedience. Set your course with The Fruit Of The Spirit continually as your guide and measuring stick. Never think, speak or act according to your feelings but use faith and love from the Word as your foundation.

Do you know that when you spend time with God in reading, praying etc., his attention is on you and he will give you insight to what you need, just because you are obedient. God knows the heart and mind of every person and will direct you in what to do, as well as what to say at all times to help yourself, as well as others. When you walk in his faith and love you get godly results!

Now use your energy to give your husband and his child a solid reason to desire to be in your godly presence. Don't enter into sin with him but be submissive and humble, caring for his needs with love, understanding and compassion. After all you want him to give the other woman up not for you to force it, then it will last.

1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

In answer to your question, "I don't see why he has to do things with her and the child."

It's simple he does things with the other woman because he likes being with her. It isn't to see the child since he lives with you. Your husband is lacking in godly faith. Without godly faith, which only comes from God's Holy Bible, a person is spiritually dead. That's why people act as they do. Satan and his influences are in control, that's what makes them a "sinner".

Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;

We need to bring your husband to life and he won't desire her anymore. As a person hears or sees the things of God and begins to believe, their heart changes. Eventually they believe enough to want salvation. So when they repent and receive Jesus into their heart, as lord over their life, the soul, which was filled with years of evil is cleansed and the spirit comes alive.

Romans 8:10 But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness.

At that moment that person is born again. This event moves them from darkness into the light of God, from the road of death and destruction to life with the eternal blessing of heaven. Now that person is finally in position to learn God's rules and has been given a heart to obey by the Holy Spirit. They now have the ability to train the body to live holy, staying free from sinful ways; to live a joyful life and receive all the promises that's in God's covenant. The Fruit of the Spirt will grow as they put on the Armor of God and get ready to do battle with the spiritual force that once held them captive.

So the answer on how to get your husband to quit doing things with the other woman is bring him to salvation. How? First confess over and over that your husband will serve the Lord. Rebuke the hold that Satan has on him. The Bible says you can take authority over your own household. Use this for your children also. Whatever belongs to you God has given you His authority to claim it; take it away from Satan and move it into His Kingdom where you are. That's what fighting the good fight of faith is all about; stopping Satan from doing his evil works, otherwise God would not have written this scripture.

Jude 1:23 Snatch others from the fire and save them.

So try to put as much of the Bible or biblical teaching on in your home or car for your husband to grow in faith. Don't expect him to do this for himself, you will probably have to do it for a very long time. Worldly people are interested in other things than growing in faith. You may have to start with very small amounts and increase slowly, he won't have much of an appetite for the things of God until he begins to feel they are helping him. As your husband receives from God his faith will grow, he will change his actions because he wants to. Eventually he will just send the child for the weekend and you and him will enjoy your free time.

Your first goal will be to give him something to compare to when they go to see the other woman. Welcome them home and have things special prepared for them. Make that evening better than their day was. Let the child, even your husband, talk about their time with her and be glad. Show interest and support and pray for her. If she should get saved then she would do right. As it is now though, she's a sinful woman and doesn't really have much to compete with. She's already given up her child. It shouldn't be hard for you to get your husband to give her up. (Since the child is living with you a good lawyer will assure you that it will continue.) As your husband and his child see the joy of being with you they will begin to recognize how her evil controls them and desire to abandon her. Draw that child close to you in prayer and serving God, so your husband sees that you are a better mother. In years to come he may eventually want you to adopt him because of your great love.

After awhile when you see your husband responding to God's Word, if he is not sending the child and is still going to be with her, pray first and then suggest that he send the child to see his or her mother so you and him can get away alone together. The money he will have spent on her he will now be spending on you. It's important that you don't talk money though. Let him do the leading. Talk love and new life in Christ. This is a new and fresh start to your relationship so make memories. If he doesn't go, give him more of the Word for awhile and try again.

Become the kind of mother to the child that puts you special in his heart forever. After all God has made this possible by allowing him to live with you. Take authority over your marriage by binding Satan. The words you speak to him are important. God backs you up and he has to bow at your feet just before he flees from your presence, all because you use the Word and the authority of Christ. Research the scriptures how Satan acted when Jesus spoke. It is no different for you when you use God's Word. You will learn more on how to bind Satan in my article "What's Faith". Make your home a place of prayer and worship and never give up. Dedicate it to God and ask Him to bless it. Never leave it even when your 18 year old son is on his own unless you and your husband want something new. As a Christian you have the authority to stop Satan from robbing you.

A person can only break apart a marriage that is weak. Yours is not as weak as you think. If you make your home-life, godly, good, strong in the Word of the Lord, your husband will grow. Find ways of being with him more, and do things that are godly but fun, parks, picnics, amusements, take the boy to the movies etc. Plan ahead and pray, it will give the Holy Spirit something to work with. If he doesn't go with you, go anyway and let him know you missed him and wished he had been there. Don't over do it, but people hate it when they missed out on something. Eventually he will be drawn to go with you.

In answer to your statement, "I know God hates divorce." You are wrong in this way of thinking because you don't know the scriptures. Although God hates divorce, He has rules to follow. God makes it clear that adultery ends a marriage covenant or contract.

Matthew 5:31-32 "It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, (or husband) except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman (or husband) commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 6:16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute (anyone other than their spouse) is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."

A person can't be one flesh with more than one person at a time. Adultery breaks the marriage bond because they gave away something they didn't have the right to give.

1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

Intimate relationships are to be reserved for the marriage bed only.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

God's reason for hating divorce is when there is no adultery, because it gives a couple an alternative other than working out their differences through the leadership of the Holy Spirit. He desires the children from a marriage to become part of his family and divorce interrupts the process. God wants people to continue to grown in His Word and do His work in a smooth, unbroken, orderly fashion. Producing greater faith down through the generations.

Malachi 2:15-16 Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

You have the choice to take the option of divorce because your husband is continually going to the other woman's house with the child, but I chose to send you another direction because of the child and the fact that you said, "I just want to do what is right in Gods eyes." God would like to see your husband saved and your family repaired. God knows you must be so tired of being hurt, and my heart breaks for you, but you're a very strong woman and now should draw on God's strength to carry you through. You will receive strength, along with answers that will change your situation, as you immerse yourself in His Word and meditate on what you are learning. Look to God for your joy and happiness instead of your husband. Then if God can do anything for him, He certainly will. A person has a free will to choose but I see that your husband really does choose you over the other woman. Surely as the Holy Spirit draws him, his heart will choose you. Set some reasonable goals for his process of change. You've already invested a good many years in this relationship, a few months or even one more year of "faith cultivation" could make a world of difference. Then if he doesn't change you have a free and clear way out. Then when you stand before God you will have a good conscience knowing that you've done all you could do.

If you haven't yet received the fullness of the Holy Spirit since you've been saved, study the Book of Acts and ask God to fill you, with the evidence of speaking in tongues, just as they did. The Holy Spirit in-filling is the commandment that Jesus instructed his disciples to receive. He is the third person in the God-head and is the power that would be sufficient to do God's work since Jesus was leaving to sit at the Father's side. He is the same power for us today. He was received by anyone who wanted Him as the disciples traveled and preached. He has also been received, in His fullness, in the hearts of millions of people today all over the world. Anyone who is born again through the blood of Jesus Christ can ask and seek God and He will fill them.

Acts 1: 3-8 After his suffering, he showed himself to these men and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God. On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."...But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

This is soul winning power. Good witnesses have more power working in their own lives. They have insight because the Holy Spirit is working to reach everyone for God's glory and knows what's inside each person. He can reveal whatever God see they need so we can help that person. The fullness of the Holy Spirit is the power that God intended for His church to live under and use for living a life of victory and for helping other to do the same. Once a person receives the fullness of the Holy Spirit, He is then able to explain scriptures to us with revelation, as God intended them to be. By just asking for help, He gives us understanding and wisdom to handle all of life's situations in a way that gives God glory and honor.

2 Corinthians 3:6 He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Spiritual insight is a miraculous thing. It's so comforting to know we are not left to our own devises when something comes up that's difficult to handle, all we do is ask for the knowledge or wisdom and the Holy Spirit is there to help us. Sometimes He helps us in simply remembering a scripture and other time He provides a miraculous event or even a way of escape. Tongues is the prayer language we receive so that our prayer is private between the individual and God. When Satan doesn't know what your saying he can't interfere with the results that God sends. It's important to speak the words that the Spirit puts in our mind and pray them to God because the Spirit searches us and knows exactly what we need, even when we think we need something else. He is always right and our blessings are bigger and better if we follow His lead.

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

Romans 8:27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

1 Corinthians 2:10 but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

When we have someone searching us and searching God also, who's whole purpose is to increase our lives in His way, how blessed we are!

I pray that you will try just a little longer with your husband since you have gone this far with him. Begin using faith and confessions about your life and marriage as God says it should be, instead of wishing things were better. Speak what you want and stand firm and see what God will do. If your husband does something that hurts you, just realize that he's "still" a sinner and is doing the best he knows how, considering he has gotten himself into a situation like this with another woman. His problem isn't his situation it's the condition of his heart. You and God working together can easily change that, through kindness and love, leading him into salvation and growth in righteousness. He will look back someday on his unfortunate experience and be thankful for the child he has and that a strong, godly wife had the wisdom and knowledge to bring his child into God's kingdom while he was young.

Isaiah 55:11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Start feeding your husband the Word today and thank God for every little improvement that you see. Thanks for writing, I will be praying for you.

You must read What is Faith? to find out how to control what you think, speak and act in complete faith for binding Satan's control in your family. It will also help you learn how to receive from God the things you need and even desire.

You will find some ideas on how to help your husband from: How Do We Get God's Love Working Through Other People?

Also: How To Help Someone Find God Without Them Rebelling

You will also find instructions in: Building A Foundation Strong Enough To Help Others

Since he says that he still loves you, I would start by making preparations for battle against his relationship with the other woman. Start by setting a date night with him. Fix a special meal, make things nice, like when you were first married. Take the girls to a friends or grandparents over night. Make sure he plans to be with you and has time for this special evening. This should be the first of many! Give him something to look forward to.

Don't talk about the other woman ever again, keep her out of your thoughts, it robs you of your strength and priorities. It gives place to the devils work and he uses it to empower his purpose. Concentrate on your evenings with your husband and the future. Put effort into it, then his choice to stay with you will be easy.

Plan your first evening well. Set the right mood, music, lighting, it's all about atmosphere. He's looking for romance so give it to him. You already have the advantage of so many memories to pull from. Gather photos of the past, wedding pictures, vacations, the kids etc. Collect any material you can think of, so you will have something at hand to keep your date flowing when emotions run dry. If you have money get him a present, a token of your love. Even if he left you, he'll never be able to forget it. A woman wins and keep her husband by showing love along with compassion for when they mess up. Don't dwell on the mess up, dwell on the repair and making him strong again. She gives him a firm foundation in their relationship by spending time in teaching him God's way to do right. The teaching is important and must be "godly teaching" to keep them strong against Satan's lies.

You want to stir up his emotions for you just as the other woman did for herself, only your motives are right where hers were evil. It's you that he's been in love with for all these years and she doesn't know him like you do. So take advantage of what you know and make your next few months count. Give him reason to abandon her.

Every moment you are together have sweet, peaceful conversations with him, plan ahead, what to do and to talk about; be prepared, and pray for God's guidance. Plan to spend as much time with him as you can. Wherever he goes, go with him. Be his best friend and use self-control, watch your words. If he doesn't want you to go with him, give him an excuse why you want to. If your not with him guiding him at this time Satan will be. When you talk remember: No Anger! No Complaints! No Crying, Accusations, Blame, Fear or Condemnation, these emotions will weaken you in you fight against Satan and the bondage he has put your husband in. None of these emotions will change what has happened, so just show the pure love of Jesus to you husband no matter how you feel during this time. He will respond easier and faster if you use self-control along with compassion, just be Christ-like and give him the love of God.

When you have dinner, lovingly bring up the memories that the two of you have had over the years. Your love was the real true love, let him know this. Always remember that what he has for the other woman is lust disguised by Satan as love. That's where you have power over the situation. Read: Lust, What Does God Say About It?

God will give you the right things to speak at just the right time, so pray much believing in His ability to use you. If you still want to stay with your husband, take pity on him because Satan has devoured him.

1 Peter 5: 8-9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Since your husband didn't rebuke the devil's thoughts of sin, probably because of ignorance, you'll have to do it for him. He's your husband and you are supposed to lift him up to God and fight for his deliverance, because he still loves you. If he didn't still love you it would be different.

James 4:7- 8 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.

You have every right, established in heaven and earth to protect your marriage. If you're not saved go quickly to our salvation prayer page and receive Jesus and His power into your heart, then you will be equipped to handle demons the way Jesus commanded us to. There's no other way. You can't fight spiritual warfare by human earthly means. It takes God's spirit working through you to win spiritual battles.

Now start "verbally" telling Satan who you are in Christ, and that Jesus has given you authority over him. Let him know that you enforce the Word of God on him. He is to release your husband, separate him from this woman, return him to you and make restitution for the sin he has caused in your husband's life. Most Christians don't know the power they have in using the truth of God over their lives and the lives of their families. If we practice controlling Satan in our lives by using God's Word we gain freedom in everything we do. Continually praise God for what He is doing to repair your marriage and keep Satan under your feet where God has put him.

Romans 16:20 The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

Jesus gave us authority. If we don't use it we won't see results. God doesn't do for us what we are supposed to do for ourselves. Our part is to do and say what is right according to the Word, and His part is to back us up and make it happen. There's a lot to be said for living righteous, standing firm on the Word of God, and having the security of God watching over His Word to perform what it says.

Jeremiah 1:12 The LORD said to me, "You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled."

Matthew 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

Matthew 18:18"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

If your heart and motives are in tune with God's then He is ready to back up whatever you say against any evil. Bind Satan and his works and keep on binding him in every area of your life as long as you live. Satan has to obey a child of God when they speak God's words and God's thoughts that are in His system designed for his children to live in. Satan will try to come against you but you continue until you see change. Get angry at Satan not your husband, he is just very weak and following Satan's evil instructions.

If you have a heart to rescue him, teach him about what has happened because he has acted in ignorance. Give him as much as he will take of the godly things that you know. If you don't know much maybe you can read some of my answers to questions or articles with him. God can deliver him as you read, even if what your reading isn't exactly about your situation God knows what will help your marriage and will heal your hearts as you read. This works, many years ago I was healed of a back injury just by reading about someone else's problem.

Your husband said he needs time and space to make decisions. It's not time to think that he needs. I've heard those words from so many spouses. They are from the mouth of Satan speaking through a person to completely sever a marriage. Don't let him have that time, don't let the devil separate you. Your husband has already proved what time and thinking will do! He doesn't know Satan is influencing his thoughts and fooling with his emotional system. Giving him free time will let Satan divide your marriage completely. You fill his time; you influence him about what he should think, he's your husband and his body belongs to you, that includes his mind.

1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

Move in close to him with love and godly influence. Smother him with all the goodness you have. In his mind, at this point, it's a contest between you and the other woman. WIN! Be the kind of woman that he can't stop thinking about. Use "Love" it's so much more powerful than the lust that she offers.

Encourage him to start a new life in the Lord with you. Let him know that God loves him and will guide him by going to our salvation prayer page and seeking help. Find a good church to attend, with a pastor who can help you with your problems according to the Bible. (Go to my resource page and learn how to let God bless your home.)

There are so many articles as well as answers to question that will give you understanding and power for deliverance. Here is just a few:

God's Power and Satan's Counterfeit

How To Help Someone Find God Without Them Rebelling

What Is Faith?

How To Solve Problems Using Gods Power

God Rebuilds Families Q & A

I will be praying for you and your family. Thanks for writing.

If you can talk to him with the love of Christ in your heart, get him to go with you to our Salvation Prayer Page and together give your hearts to the Lord to begin new and fresh in your marriage. Everyday, plan together time and ways to get into the presence of the Lord, either by listening to or reading the Bible together. Start with prayer at mealtime.

If you don't have the Bible on CD then do what ever it takes to get it. It will be the most important piece of equipment you will ever own. Play it while doing your housework and in the car. You don't have to get it all at once, just let it play, God will reveal to you what you need. Continue to play the New Testament many times before attempting the Old Testament. Let the Spirit of the Lord fill your home starting in the morning. Getting God's anointing early will keep you and your family in His protection all day long. It will give you the strength needed to resist the attacks of Satan.

Next find a good church, with a pastor that knows the will of God and how to lead his flock according to the love and teachings of Christ. (Read: How To Find The Right Church) Go as often as possible, the Lord will bless you as you receive His Word. Follow all the biblical do's and don'ts as you learn them and receive the promises that are attached to each one. A person's salvation is a covenant, or contract, with God and He is excited about keeping his part in blessing you and your family.

Begin to saturate your life and your home in the good things of God and use all your love and strength to involve your husband. Pull him toward God and forget the past. What you feed him spiritually is what he will end up being. Talk to your husband by being strong minded, tender hearted and lead him out of sin. You must pray for this balance of wisdom as you are working with him.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure (holy righteous in line with God's Word); then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

Check the wisdom you are using. Giving your spouse godly love along with what the Bible says will build their faith. As their faith builds they will have a desire to do things God's way. Just wishing they will change, even talking to them or pleading with them won't get them out of the bondage Satan has put them in; nor will begging God to change them. These are spiritual battles. Satan's work takes place in the spiritual realm and affects earthly people. Earthly people have very little power over "spiritual evil". But when we arm ourselves with God's spiritual weapons victory is swift and sweet. Jesus has already won it for us we just have to use our weapons the way God's Word instructs us to. (Read: The Armor of God)

God works through people who will receive knowledge and wisdom from Him, so give yourself to Him through prayer and reading His Word. It's His "Love Book of Instruction" to you. You'll find He works on your situation no matter what you study but finding the scripture that pertain to your circumstances and speaking them in faith will bring a quicker victory.

When working with your spouse never condemn them for the sin they have fallen into. Although it's tempting because we have strong emotions, it's absolutely wrong and will defeat your efforts. Satan is the author of condemnation. It's his evil works that produce condemnation in a person. We can never use Satan's works to reach godly results and receive His best. We are to use God's tools such as "Love". Remember your spouse as they were when you were first married. What they have become is a result of Satan tempting them. Be angry at Satan, trampling him under foot for what he has done. Godly love is what you want your spouse to taste along with the freedom that is in salvation and redemption. Condemnation will only drive them further away from you and from God. (You might want to read: Condemnation - What Does God Say About It?) Use faith by believing in the Word and that God will do what you ask. God works in our lives according to our faith that we put into action. We have to get that faith from His Word. If you don't know much of the word start to study so your soul prospers and use everything that you already know. (Read: What Is Faith?)

3 John 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. (The Holy Spirit was speaking through John when he said this.)

Your soul will prosper when you learn God's Word and believe it. As you meditate on His Word it becomes part of your mind and heart. When opportunity arises you have desire to use what you've learned instead of using the world's way of doing. As the Word becomes part of your soul it comes out of you in faith, with power to speak and act according to God's way, just as Jesus did. This is what brings true results.

If your husband will not participate in any of these things, then you pour yourself into them and believe God for your husband to follow. Be the kind of woman that pleases God. It's the best way to get Him to move for your husband. The results will be so rewarding when he prefers you above all other women.

Many people are going through the same problems as you are but with God they are coming out. Marriages are being restored and made better than ever before. Satan wants to break up families and disturb the peace that God intended for them to have, but with perseverance the two of you will have a wonderful future together with Jesus as Lord in your lives.

Some of my answers to others, along with articles I have written, may help you learn. Pray that God will give you what you need for your situation as you read them.

I have been married for 8 years (together for 12). My...
How To Solve Problems Using Gods Power
How To Help Someone Find God Without Them Rebelling
The Automatic Blessing Comes When We Desire More Of God

These are resources that will help you.
God's Anointing On TV And The Internet
Where To Get The Bible You Need

I am praying for you and your family. You asked, "Can God really heal all this?" The answer is absolutely yes; but your husband has to want to be delivered. You can start by seeing if he'll get a restraining order against her. In fact see if he can get it for the whole family since she has been charged before. He should want his family protected. If he refuses then I would believe he's not really finished with her nor is his confession of Christianity for real. A true Christian will not allow someone to interfer with his family life because God places great importance on the family structure. It's where His strength is for every situation in a married couples life.

I find people do exactly what they want to do, especially when they know what they shouldn't do. If this woman is bothering him then a restraining order should be something your husband should welcome and make every effort to enforce. If she comes near you then you enforce it immediately.

Next, is he reading or listening to the Bible? He'll never get enough of God to change his heart if he doesn't. Get the Bible on CD and put it on daily whether he's listening or not. Get your home and car filled with the Spirit of the Lord and it will affect his spirit.

Are you going to a church that really believes in deliverance and miracle power? If not find one that does. The church you choose is the most important decision you'll ever make. We need miracle power working in our lives daily to keep our families from the temptations of the evils that exist in our society.

Begin to saturate your life and your home in the good things of God and use all your love and strength to involve your husband. Pull him toward God and forget the past. What you feed him spiritually is what he will end up being.

You asked if it was God or Satan speaking to you when you decided to stop in to see him at his office. It really doesn't matter who's voice it was but what you did about the situation. Did you confront her. I probably would have. If it's true what your husband said about his recent relationship with her, he wouldn't have minded and would have welcomed you presence.

Many years ago I simply told a woman, who was chasing a friend's husband, that she would have a law suit brought against her if she saw him one more time or even called him. I would personally see to it that it would be in the news; all about her past and everything she was doing to my friend's family. I was old enough to be her grandmother so maybe she thought I would. I let her know that God loved her but didn't like the sin she was evolved in and that she should pray about her life. Anyway, she never contacted him again.

Christians aren't to let someone move in and break up their home. You have rights in the Kingdom of God as well as legal rights. You should find out what legal means are available to you if you need them. There are places to get answers that doesn't cost or has little cost.

Talk to your husband by being strong minded, tender hearted and lead him out of sin. Giving him what the Bible says will build faith in him to do things God's way. Just talking to him or pleading with him won't change him.

Be the kind of woman that pleases God. It's the best way to get Him to move for your husband so he will prefer you above all other women.

Below are some resources that will help you find what you need to serve your family the riches of God.

God's Anointing On TV And The Internet

How To Find The Right Church

Where To Get The Bible You Need

Salvation