I am praying for you and your family. God sees your situation and knows the pain you are in. He hears your prayers and his desire is what's best for you and your child. There are some important things to consider since the marriage vows no longer exist through your husband's adultery. What was your husband's attitude toward God when you were together? Does he listen to you; could to help him spiritually? Is there a chance that you could get him into counseling or to attend church with you? You don't want to return to a relationship that will further damage you and your child. If a spouse, who indulges in sexual sin, rejects God (the only one who can totally deliver them from lust) it's likely they'll continue in adulterous relationships down through the years. You don't want that kind of lifestyle and God doesn't want you in that type of relationship with anyone, it blocks His ability to bless you. Since God is the only one who can change your husband's heart and make your marriage work you need to throughly examine your options, putting your emotions aside, and make a decision that is right for you and your child. You must read: Does God Ever Accept Divorce? It is an answer to a dear lady's question whose husband left home. Read it in comparison to your situation. You will be able to decide whether your husband can be reached for God or not. The article will give you insight about God's Laws on marriage and when He permits or even desires for a person to seek a divorce.

I am giving you some links to other articles that will help you know God's Word for your circumstances. The more you know about God's way the better you will be able to make good judgment that will improve you and your child's life for the years to come.

God is love, therefore you must know that God loves your husband, He just hates the sin that he's committing because it's from Satan and separates him from the blessings that God has for him. If you get an opportunity try to lead him to pray for salvation and a new life in Christ.

If you feel in your heart you have a chance to win him for Jesus begin with these articles. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

I have been praying for you and I know God is helping you. He helps everyone who asks.

1John 3:21-22 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.

James 1:2-8 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

I hope things are better between you and your new friend. When you want to give a person a gift just make sure it's a gift that's appropriate for the level of your relationship. Then choose a time when you can both enjoy the experience. If she is the one for you then God will make it all work out. If she is the one for you then God will make it work out. If she's not then He will show you who is best for you. Always trust in the Lord and ask his advise about your relationships then wait for the Holy Spirit to show you favor with the right people. Where God is there is always favor, a sense of his divine nature working for you.

If Jesus is in your heart as Lord of your life then when you ask him for help He picks and chooses what's best for you. He causes your standard of living to become much higher than what you could have done on your own. This method of asking God and receiving His best will work throughout your whole life whether you are dealing with someone to by a car, to get a job or looking for a new place to live. Yes, it also works in choosing relationships with girls. In fact it works in making new relationships with anyone.

God wants your life to increase, to be full of peace and contentment as well as joy. Entering into the right relationships and conducting those relationships according to God's word will prevent a lot of trouble later. God knows whose personality will fit nice with yours, he know where they are at all times and He's wise enough to know just when to bring them into your life. God knows everything about everybody.

The fear you had for that particular girl was not from God. God wants Christian boys and girls to be attracted to each other, to have holy relationships that grow with his kind of love; then to eventually get married and raise their children to live righteous in God's sight.

The fear you experienced was something you weren't used to and you just didn't know how to recognize that particular kind of fear, or how to handle it. God has knowledge and the wisdom of how to handle every situation in life. He loved us enough to recorded all of it down in his Bible. When we pray and read to find the answers God reveals them to us and they work in miraculous ways.

Since you go to church I am assuming you're saved. That you have repented of your sins and been born again with Jesus living in your heart. If you're not born again then go to our Salvation Prayer page and give your heart to Jesus. There is power in the Lord to put fear as well as other wrong feelings out of your life. After being saved then go on to receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit, as it's written about in the Book of Acts. Jesus gave this as a command because the fullness of the Holy Spirit in our life is where we receive God's supernatural power to fight life's battles. Being taught by the Holy Spirit is how we gain the knowledge to receive all the blessings and increase that God has promised us.

Salvation is the first portion of God's power for us. It saves us from sin, death and eternal hell. The Baptism of the Holy Spirit, which is the in-filling or fullness of the Holy Spirit is the second, stronger in power portion that God gives us. If we rely on him (the Holy Spirit living in us) along with learning God's Word we give the Holy Spirit the freedom to work inside our mind, heart, soul and body to accomplish God total deliverance for our lives in every situation. He can prevent us from making wrong decisions and lead us into situations that are good for us. Continually staying submissive to the will and instruction of the Holy Spirit, by hungering after his knowledge, allows us to obtain the most in a full and prosperous life.

Receiving the fulness of the Holy Spirit is a separate event from repentance and salvation. It has happened within minutes for some people but at a later date for most. The Disciples of Jesus were already saved and baptized in water when He said to them:

There are many examples in the Bible of people who used great faith. I've assembled a collection of my favorites here.

You're a wonderful man to take on the responsibility of three boys and you deserve to be happily married to a woman that is caring and compassionate toward all of you. You and your children have already gone through more heartache than anyone should ever endure. So I can understand why you need some peace and happiness. The Lord will help you so be strong and give him time to work. You didn't say whether or not you are a born again Christian. God is so loving and caring about each one of us. He wants us to be happy and content in life with all the blessings and promises that the Bible offers.

Most people take it upon themselves to choose a marriage partner instead of asking God. Since they have no way of seeing what's in the future they are taking a chance, in other words they're gambling with their own future and the future of their children. It's a haphazard , risky way to make such an important decision in life. If you're lucky and work hard this marriage might work. In that statement I chose to use words that are attached to the worldly way of finding a mate. Worldly ways of living and doing come from a sinful nature that was created when Adam and Eve sinned. That nature never provides security or happiness on a permanent basis. You really don't need any of those words attached to your next marriage even if you feel you're deeply in love. Human love can turn sour but godly love will last a lifetime.

There is a reason why none of those words are ever attached to anything God provides. When God accepted the blood of his Son, Jesus, as payment for our sins he offered a covenant relationship to anyone that would repent and accept Jesus as lord over their life. That covenant is binding; God never goes back on his word. Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. God loves all people but only those that choose to be in covenant with God have a right to all the wonderful promises in his Word. Those promises have words attached to them like sure, reward, receive, prosperous, everlasting, whatever you ask etc. These are words of security and increase. I believe this is the kind of marriage you want now or you wouldn't have written.

I don't know what happened in your first marriage but your second choice for a wife was not too successful. I would like to see you turn this area of your life over to God so you will have peace and joy in your home for the rest of your natural days. God knows everything about every body. He knows the future as well as the past for each person who will turn to him, and best of all he forgets our sins. He knows what personality fits best with you as well as with the boys. His choices are always better than ours; they're satisfying deep into our soul, they're secure, sound and permanent. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. If this woman is right for a lifetime of happiness as your marriage partner then it will be proven when you follow the tests and steps I have written for you.

If you are born again then we are ready to talk about your new lady; if not please go to our Salvation Prayer page and give your heart to God so he can begin to move for you.

It is understandable that your youngest son would take the divorce so hard. His world has been torn apart and accepting any woman other than his mother into your lives is going to be hard for him. I know that you need a good wife and a mother for your boys but your children have to be your first priority right now because of the stability they need in their lives. The more you talk to your children and reassure them of your love and dedication the stronger they will become. Doing new activities with them many times will help a child to heal quicker. If your new lady will participate it will also help them adjust to her. Most children need a reason for liking an adult or letting them into their small world.

How often do you plan activities with your new lady that the boys are included? They may just feel left out or that your affection for them is not as strong as it was. Maybe they feel she doesn't like them so they don't want to make an effort to please her. Does your lady ever suggest including the boys in what you do or even a short trip for ice-cream before a date? What kind of feelings does she express when you're all together? How affectionate is she with your boys? Can she carry on a conversation with them or does she talk at them? Is she eager to help them if they have a need? Is her response to them genuine or is it stressed? Does she mind being alone with them for short periods of time? Can you completely trust her with your boys?

If you're discussing marriage then you've been dating long enough that she should be adjusted to each of your boy's by now. Their needs should be important to her especially if she's going to be a nurturing mother to them. Observe her deeply to know her feelings and emotions as to being a nurturing type person. A true mother is a giving person; she gives her time, effort, love and compassion. She is willing to put her own life on hold to do for others. You say you love each other's company but when you get married she has to fit in your family as a mother figure and everyone needs to feel free to enjoy each other's company. How can she do that when she is resentful and jealous of your youngest son who needs the most help? And how can he trust and love her when he feels she's competing for your affections.

These two sentences really bother me the most: "She feels like I pay more attention to my youngest son's feelings than I do hers. She has even said she feels second in my heart to him." Don't let her whining confuse you. She should be second place in your heart at this point; actually she should be fourth in your heart, right after each son. An unselfish woman would know that and would work to earn first place in your heart. A person doesn't move into first place just because they want to be there, nor is first place a gift that's just handed to a person. Placement is earned out of dignity, respect and honor and usually a lot of work. If it didn't then first place would have much importance.

Love has to go deeper than attraction and feelings. It has to withstand the daily trials of life and the occasional disaster. True love holds on to each other and digs roots deeper during hard times, working things out. Love never demands, nor does it allow a person to wine, or wallow in self-pity to get their own way. True love is mature, understanding, compassionate and giving. It's lifting up and encouraging the one they love and putting their desires before your own, in spite of your feelings. 1Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Since you feel she's a great lady and I don't know anymore about her than what you wrote. Test you feelings by looking at her objectively; evaluate her while putting your feelings aside to see if you feelings match up with what she really is. List the reasons why you think she's great, what are her good qualities then list what you don't like. Establish how stable she is in her life and how acceptable she is to change. A home with three boys is will be a lot of change for her to go through, when you marry. You don't need someone who will bail out on you because they're tired of cooking, cleaning or doing laundry. Is she stubborn or tender hearted? What assets does she bring to the whole family? Does her good qualities out weigh her insecurities? Is she mature and sensible in all she does? You don't need another child, nor do you need anymore stress in your life. By now you can probably think of more questions. Be thorough in you lists so you can make a fair evaluation. These are things that you need to pray about then God will help you work things out to benefit everyone. He has all the right answers but sometimes we have trouble hearing them so seek his guidance and be patient.

You write your relationship is not hindered due to your son not wanting you to be together. It really has been but you're not aware of it. You and your sons are a package deal and any woman you intend to marry must be mature enough to understand that she absolutely can never come between you and your boys. It's not a contest as to who you love the most. The right woman's objective should be to add fullness to you and your family or her love for you is not real, it's infatuation. Love is about wishing the other person to be well and happy all the time even if you have to sacrifice. A great marriage has sacrifices from both parties. Anything else comes from a spirit of selfishness which causes division. If she doesn't care about the same things you care about what do you have in common; especially when it's something as important as the welfare of your child?

You can't afford to go through another cycle of hurt and pain, and neither can your boys. Have you talked in depth to your son to get all the information about his feelings on this whole situation? Have you explained to him how you feel? Children are smart and compassionate when you open up to them. Your children need that closeness from you at this time. Have you tried talking as a family about the future with your lady present? Your son might respond better if he could ask her questions. If you're not ready to talk about the future of marriage then start with plans for next week or next month. Children want to feel included especially when all they have to depend on is one parent and you're not always with them. It's important to make them feel secure even when you're out on a date. Many times when questions are left unanswered in a person's mind it creates doubt, fear and insecurity. You should explain to everyone that you love each person differently and that each one has security in your love. Most families don't talk to each other enough which allows a lot of wrong thinking and misunderstandings.

Draw close to Jesus through worship and learning what's in God's word so the Holy Spirit can guide you. As the head of your household set a time aside so God can bless you and your boys together through Bible study. Just start in the New Testament and read a little to them several times a week. They will get such healing from the Holy Spirit as God's word moves into their minds. If you don't have any Christian music then get some. Music can soften the heart and bring peace to the mind. Maybe you can get your lady to participate in your family Bible time.

If you don't have a good church, please find one. In the next few days I will be publishing an article on how to choose a good church.

I would be very cautious if you choose to move forward in this relationship, give it a lot of thought and prayer. Give yourself plenty of time before making such an important decision. God loves you and his desires are the same as yours, that you have a happy loving home where your children will be raised to be strong healthy men and serve the Lord for all eternity. Start by taking your lady to church with your boys. If she isn't interested in your Christian lifestyle and the blessings that God has for your future then she's not the right woman for you. Then you'll need to seek God about that special one he has for you.

Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.