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If God has chosen the two of you to be together as lifelong partners, both of you are of an age to marry, and are independent enough financially, it wouldn't have taken you four years to get married. Although your parents are unsaved, I'm positive that they love you and are looking out for what is best for your future. You have done well to obey your parents.
Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Your boyfriend is not seeking God as the Bible commands.
Psalms 119:2-3 Blessed are they who keep his (God's) statutes (rules and laws) and seek him with all their heart. They do nothing wrong; they walk in his ways.
Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: " `Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: `Love your neighbor as yourself.'
For your boyfriend to press you to have sex until you have to draw the line shows that he has no respect for you at all. That lack of respect demonstrates a severe lack of God in his life. After marriage is when you are come together in the holiness of God as one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality in the eyes of God. Your boyfriend is evidently not familiar with this scripture:
1Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
For him to try to touch you in any sexual areas of your body or to lie and tell you that God can't work on your behalf shows no moral value in his soul. In fact, if you would give into his demands, you would be willfully sinning and God would cut off your blessings. The pure biblical love, what you believe love should be, would be twisted by the influence of Satan. Because you would become impure, it would bring shame and condemnation for years. Even though God forgives and forgets after a person repents, past sins can still surface from time to time in a person's mind and cause pain. You must not give in to this man's lust.
When a person wants to change your mind about your beliefs, they need to present you with two or three scriptures to prove they are right and that you are wrong. Then you need considerable time to search the scriptures and pray to be sure they are right. Be strong in what you have learned and believe from God's word. Never let anyone steal your faith in God away from you. Faith is believing in God's righteous ways and it's the most important thing you own.
It's a terrible thing for your parents to watch you being degraded by this man. They don't want you hurt or to turn against them by telling you to break up, but if they were saved they would know how to talk to you scripturally so you would understand. Let them know you want them to go to church with you and learn God's ways, so that in the future they will be more equipped to give you reasons for their feelings. They love you, and God loves them and wants them to be saved.
You say that your boyfriend can't pray with you because you're double minded about your relationship. The reason that he can't pray with you is because he doesn't want to pray; anyone can pray if they want to. His actions show that he's not praying, reading his Bible or asking God about letting the Holy Spirit change him to be more like Jesus. He has shown you that being righteous like Jesus is not his desire. No, you are definitely not double minded. You are God minded. Your boyfriend is lustful and needs delivered. He has not resisted the lies of Satan but has turned his mind over to the twisted version of love that Satan has pushed on the world as the "real thing". He is the one that is double-minded.
James 4:7-10 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
A person who God so graciously saved, but is now desiring to commit willful sin (something his/she knows God says is a sin) is in serious trouble and has back-slidden. For him to be working in the church in this condition is a dangerous thing. If this man is hindering your walk with the Lord now, what do you think you'll be like if you continue to be around him? He is robbing you of your love for Jesus and that means he is stealing your soul. He is also in the way of God uniting you with the one person He has chosen for you; which he will do after you receive healing from the troubles of this relationship. Give yourself plenty of time. God has a perfect mate for every one who wants one. However, putting God first in your life is what allows God to reveal that special person to you.
- seeking knowledge for growth in God's ways through reading the Bible daily
- being totally obedient to what you have learned
- learning to trust the leadership of the Holy Spirit
- love and worship for the Lord
God loves you so much and his greatest desire for you is that you have peace and joy all your life. When the mate God has for you comes into your life you won't have any confusion. Confusion is one of the works that Satan uses in the mind of a person to get them to act out the sins he's got planned for them. Just being around sinful people can cause confusion to affect the mind of a Christian in many different ways. Satan has an easier time getting people to believe his lies when confusion is present. Under the influence of confusion he makes them think that they're the ones deciding to do wrong all on their own. It's something that Christians need to take to God every time confusion slightly affects them. Ask God to explain things to you, then wait for his answer. The Holy Spirit will teach you so much. Then you will be clear minded.
Your boyfriend, in his present condition, is not suitable for you.
1 Corinthians 5:9-11 I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people-- not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother (Christian) but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
I'm am glad you wrote. It's a serious thing to be tormented by a person like this. If he will not leave you alone then you must change churches. God wants you where you are at ease to worship Him. Find a place where the leaders and workers in the church are screened for a position of leadership, such as a Church of God or Assembly of God. If you haven't received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit as described in the Book of Acts, ask God for it. It's a gift and you will receive more power for God's insight for stressful situations that come in the future.
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