s in the case of Q & A He ridicules and finds fault with me, I'm ignored at home, what should I do? when a loved one is held captive by the things of this world and the evil or satanic forces that are all around us, it's our prayers of faith along with a biblical foundation for our actions that moves God to respond with his best ability to help that person. Although, God has given every person the right to make choices in their own life and the one we love may never choose God's way it is important for us to try to help them so that when we stand before God we our found to be his true and faithful servants.

When we help someone who is in this unfortunate situation we must see them as Jesus saw them and treat them as he did. This is the key to reaching someone for the Lord:

Mark 6:34 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.

Preparing Yourself For Teaching A Loved One

Pray for God to reveal any changes you need to make in your own life, then you will be effective in reaching your loved one.

Example: Maybe you need certain Fruit of the Spirit to be stronger, like patience or gentleness. Then put these into action quickly as often as possible. When you were saved you received in your heart seeds from all of God's Fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. If these seeds have not grown into full working godly fruit since the time you were born again then it's time to force them to grow. No matter what your eyes see, what your ears hear or what emotion you feel begin maintaining these fruit attributes of God's personality in every situation throughout every day. They are what sets you apart from worldly people.

2 Corinthians 5:7 For we live by faith, not by sight. (sight is our physical abilities, our senses and feelings. Faith is living by how biblical scriptures tell us to think, speak and act.

The measuring stick to our own growth is the Fruit of the Spirit. Our lack in these areas affect other people. It can make or break their view of God's great salvation. So ask God for strength and guidance, especially at the moment of needing a certain godly fruit, and he will send help for you. Recognize his presence. He is there, just as God sent an angel into the Garden of Gethsemane to strengthen Jesus, he will do the same for you.

Jesus chose to use the Fruit of the Spirit in every situation and you will need to do the same. It will be the fruit that will set you apart from every other person your loved one knows. It's this stability that gives you authority and wins their trust. Be quick to make whatever changes in your own life that reflect the confidence God gives us in possessing his fruit.

For instance love, joy, peace, self-control and even patience, are all inward fruit, taking place inside your heart (your desires) and mind to strengthen and benefit yourself. God's fruit will put a smile on your face, calm your nerves and produce clear thinking. They're your secret weapon against every attack that the Devil tries to pull on you, physically, mentally, emotionally etc. When we continually put his fruit into action, 24/7, it builds you up and increases your Armor of God

Kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and again love and patience are outward fruit. They express to others the kind of person you are deep in your most inner parts, your heart and soul. Actions based on these fruit will determine how a person reacts to you. If you are firm in continually responding to someone with godly fruit they will either respond with a more tender heart toward you, as well as for God. Or they will harden their heart toward God's Holy Spirit, that's drawing them through these fruit. If they choose to harden their heart they will eventually leave you completely alone. I've had people do both. No matter what they chose God knew I did my best to show them His love. I continually pray for these people in the hope that God would open their eyes to the truth. Your efforts in using the Fruit of the Spirit will not go unnoticed by God: nor will it be unrewarded.

It's not easy to be self-controlled with compassion and love at all times, especially when the biblical teaching you are giving your loved one goes against their sinful nature. There may be times when they respond with a hurtful or angry attack.

Examples: You're trying to control me. Don't boss me around.

Assure them that you're not bossing them, but sharing. That you really love them. You can eventually get into their heart and mind by using "sweet words", honey, sweetheart etc. Even using them in a playful way can break that accusing or angry spirit.

Example: Oh honey, you don't have any idea how much I love you? (Be sure to smile and touch them if you can. It reinforces your love, even if they shake you off.) You can use any statement (not a question or confrontation) that fits the mode to move it to a more relaxed mood.

Learn to recognize when a person is talking to you under the influence of demonic control. That demon is in charge of their thoughts and desires, just like when a person craves a cigarette or drink of alcohol. The difference is that it's purpose is to control you through intimidation so you won't interfere with the control it has over your loved one. You can quietly rebuke that spirit in the name of Jesus. Demons have to bow to godly power, not whether you're loud or soft spoken. You can do this while showing the person love and compassion. You can become proficient at separating your loved one from the demonic influence that is controlling them. Pray for help that God will reveal the separation to you and also give you insight to handling that controlling spirit. Pray for wisdom and knowledge with each "episode", that the two of you enter into, even if it's just for a moment, then you will be able to lift your loved one out of darkness into God's light.

We as disciples of Christ, must be able to shrug off all aggressive attacks. See: The Armor of God for strength in this area.

Words spewed out in anger will never hurt us, unless we react to them. Whatever a person says in anger is meaningless, a test to get our mind off of God's love and power. Those words are designed to hurt, to overwhelm us with sympathy for our own feelings, something the Bible says not to do. So we can't afford to be touchy if we want to win them to the Lord.

You must know that those kinds of response are a counterattack with an unholy spiritual origin. Don't ever let the low level demon, in charge of these kinds of attacks fill your mind with his lies. You are special, a holy child of God, filled with his righteousness from the time you were "born again" and nobody can take that away from you. If you haven't learned to respond in a good way to their attack, don't respond at all and don't show hurt or weakness. Pray for the proper response, it's the one that will lodge in their heart. God created your loved one to return your love with even more love than you gave. So remember at these times it's godly love that wins over any situation. The compassion in your behavior sets the best example for them to see Christ. Eventually they'll know Jesus was working through you whether or not they ever get saved.

Matthew 5:14-16 "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Again I say, look for any area in your life that doesn't line up with God's Word. You are responsible to God to do the things you know to do. Your responsibility increases as you learn more of God's Word. (See: Luke 12:48)

James 4:17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them.

The Amplified Bible says it best.

James 1: 22 But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth].

Respond quickly to any changes that the Holy Spirit inspires you to make for doing better in your own life. This makes you teachable and opens the communication between you and God. He is the only one that knows what is going on in the heart and mind of your loved one and the Holy Spirit needs to be able to communicate with you so that your lessons for them will be effective.

Getting Started With A Plan

Prepare your lesson by planning what you will say and do. Sometimes it will be just a pat on the shoulder or a hug and a kind word. It's a quick interruption during whatever they are doing (that thing that separates them from you and God). It will make a break in the chain that holds them captive. You have gotten their attention for the moment with something strong, love. This is a good time to use "sweet words". I've even been known, every few days, to go by and put a Hershey Kiss in their space to distract them from their captor. (Unless they ask for one, be sure to hide the bag of kisses so they are a treat when you share them.) It's harder for them to get angry or brush you off if you are being kind. If they do brush you off, it gives the Holy Spirit opportunity to bring conviction on them, which will lead to a softening of the heart.

Eventually your kind acts will lead to sharing a "life according to the Bible story" These lessons usually start with one sentence or a paragraph, then gradually expanding to ten or twenty minutes or even more when they get to the place where you can listen to or read the Bible together. Even if you think they don't hear you giving them a lesson, they do. When you say or do the right things the Holy Spirit can use it to break through the wall that has been established between the two of you.
Example Read: Our Experience With The Lord

Life According To The Bible Stories

A "life according to the Bible story" is finding something you have seen at work or in the news etc. or something that a person (anybody) does that needs to be approached in a more godly way. This is not the time to correct or find fault with them. We're not to accuse or condemn, so leave conviction up to the Holy Spirit. After telling what the action was, add your ending of how it should have been done or the reward for doing it right or even the penalty that the Bible says they will pay for their wrong actions.

Always base your additions to the story on the scriptures. Look for scriptures with promises. A simple book of promises from the book store can help you find these scriptures. The "do this or don't do this" scriptures along with the "reap what you sow" scriptures are found throughout the Bible. A good place to start looking is in the Book of Proverbs and in the blessing and curse scriptures in Deuteronomy 28, so study. Always make what you do a positive uplifting time, never demanding anything in return. Use the statement of fact attitude and you don't need their attention to express your thoughts. You're just trying to get the word into them so they will grow in faith and God's way of doing and being right.

The story doesn't have to be perfect or be something of great interest to them. It's sharing your thoughts and fitting it into their time-slot.

Don't be preachy or push your loved one, simply be prepared and relate something godly to them. Then pray for them and allow the Holy Spirit to work with them after each lesson. The Holy Spirit will take the truth that was in the lesson and put it into their heart. You are giving the Holy Spirit something to work with every time you give a lesson, no matter how long or short. When it's in their heart it becomes faith. That faith will begin to change them, from the inside out, to the point they accept Jesus Christ as their Lord.

1 Corinthians 3:5-8 What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe, as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.

Examples of Stories:

1.,. On the news I saw a cat caught in a tree. While getting him down he jumped out of the fireman's arms and ran off. He was just fine when they checked him out. Isn't it great that God created cats to always land on their feet.

You can even put some humor in it by adding "I wished He had done that for me or using something from your past to enhance the story." However, never poke fun at your loved one by bringing up their past, they're weak in their emotions and may be to touchy to take it. If they want to bring something up to participate in the storytelling be a good listener or a comforter if need be. Take advantage of the situation where ever it will soften their heart.

I've even been known to be apologetic for something they did wrong or finding a place to give them undeserved credit for something right. Remember when people are unsaved they feel weak because of guilt, they feel inadequate and insecure. We don't want to hurt them, but to lift them up to the love of God. Being able to stand strong in your own heart and mind while softening another person's heart is not always easy. But it allows God to deal with them and brings us great rewards later.

2. I watched the royal wedding, it was so beautiful. Just think how beautiful the Marriage Supper of the Lamb will be. Revelations 19:6-9

They may never heard of what you are saying (like Marriage Supper of the Lamb ), but it gives the Holy Spirit something to work with in their mind for the next few days. However, do your homework because eventually they will want more information on what you're saying. Have notes and scriptures ready to teach when they are ready. I just put bookmarks with key words written on the top as I study.

At first you may only be able to get two or three stories into them a week, and only very short ones at that. But don't get discouraged. Just think of the change you'll see in them six months from now. I keep track of the person's growth by how many of these lessons I can get into a them in a day or week.

You can check the progress of your teacher-student relationship by what I call a person's "bounce back time". It's the length of time between lessons where a person either accepts what you say or rejects it. Is it hours or days before you can comfortably approach them with another lesson?

The "bounce back time" is because of what they are learning. It allows the Holy Spirit time to call them to accountability and prompts them to make a decision to make a change in their thinking and/or their lifestyle. This is usually a disturbing time for them because most people believe they are OK with whatever they think, say or do, especially if things seem to be going well with their life.

Some people get alone for minutes, hours and even for two or three days, be patient with them. They may be really angry, hurt or just thinking, trying to work things out. They just need time for the Holy Spirit to help them with God's truth that you planted in them.

During this time be kind, talk but stay off the subject. You can answer any questions they may have but let them be the aggressive one. As you observe, watch for the time they are over the conflict in their mind and they either want more or you can comfortably give another lesson. From the time they left the lesson to the time they will accept more is their "bounce back time". These times should grow shorter until you can introduce reading the Bible together, going to church, counseling, etc. Bounce back times will vary according to how much change a person has to make and how willing they are to give up and do things God's way.

I knew a man that started with only one lesson every two or three days. He frowned every time I gave God praise for his great works, but he began to like the "life according to the Bible stories" so much that eventually that wall of rebellion came down, he went to receiving several lessons a day, then to Bible study two to three times a week and then salvation and receiving the Baptism of the Holy Spirit in it's fullness.

The reason this works is because the person starts with little or no godly faith working in their heart. Faith is God's word or truth that is established in the heart of a man which produces thoughts, speech or actions that God responds to. As they hear or even see scripturally sound material, like pictures or article that you have found, they will be receiving faith.

Biblical pictures can be found on the internet, on calendars and from many books. They are good for hanging on the refrigerator, in hallways, in the bathroom or anyplace you want them to be seen. Change them regularly to capture their interest. As they gain in faith the desire to know more will be aroused in them. If you use written or typed scriptures as visual aids, use the ones that speak of God's love and blessings. These give your loved one a good reason to want to make Jesus lord of their life.

Romans 10:17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.

Use Definitions For Clarification

Be prepared to give the meaning of words that you use in your lessons. Before I was saved, even though I went to church all my life, the words that born again people used sounded strange to me. As they talked I had nothing to relate those words to because I had not been taught. People are sometimes embarrassed and won't ask the meaning of something they think they should already know.

After preparing your lesson always look for words you may have to explain, words like saved, salvation, pentecost, redemption etc. Then when you use the word in a lesson give a quick definition just as you would to a child. It produces the most beneficial way of learning for your loved one.

Example: So a person won't be embarrassed by ignorance I use phrases like:

1. "I'm sure you already know but" or just a quick "You know" (then give the definition)

2. Some times I just say the word and give the definition as an afterthought. Like "the Jewish Sabbath, from sunset on Friday evening to sunset on Saturday evening "

3."Webster says" (then give the definition). I use Webster a lot. Who can argue with it?

4. Sometimes you can work in a question like, "Have you ever been baptized like the Bible teaches, immersed? A question can draw them into participating in the lesson. If they get you off the subject it's OK. Enjoy the relationship and finish or start a new lesson at a latter time.

Learn to be creative! It keeps their interest. There is much preparation that goes into a two minute lesson, but over time this process will become much easier; especially when you begin to see the results and that person begins to share their stories with you.

Your goal is to have a quite time each day together where you can read scripture or faith based articles; maybe watch a faith program, leading up to daily prayer together.

Example: My husband is on the afternoon shift so we start every morning by watching Kenneth Copeland's program on TBS, then we have our prayer time. I see to it that he has mp3 sermons and Christian music on his iPhone to listen to when he drives to work. His iPhone also has TV programs, like TBN and streaming sermons from our own church, First Assembly of God. His phone also has several versions of the Bible to read anytime he chooses.

By starting first thing in the morning with godly input it gives a person supernatural strength to fight daily battles. It allows the Holy Spirit to prompt us when to read and pray throughout the day. Just as a woman provides nourishing food for her family she is wise if she provides spiritual food on a daily bases also. The closer a person's loved one is to God the more secure their relationship will be.

Preparing The Mood In Your Home

One of the most important things to remember in life, as the homemaker, the woman has the responsibility to set the mood in the home. God has many instructions on how women should and should not act. Here are a few:

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one (without the working knowledge of God in her life) tears hers down.

Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 27:15 A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm.

Study: A Wife Of Noble Character

Now in setting the mood in your home you can't be mean or unreasonable by cutting off the internet or TV but in this economy you may be able to cut back in places that will limit the worst of what your loved one does. You can also monitor what they are doing and provide alternatives. Ween them off the garbage so to speak. Use things like NetFlix to get properly rated entertainment and quietly, slowly replace rock, rap or even country music with classical and Christian music. As they hear what you're playing it will work it's way into their spirit and change their heart. Start a family night with once a month if that's all your loved one is willing to give. Start with things you know that will interest them. Plan food, make sure they have a comfortable place to sit. If they don't want to participate you do it anyway. Watch the movie, eat the popcorn and pray. They may join you next time or even by the end of the movie. If they want to eat the food make it available but they must come get it. Let it be known you are having a good time. You can even give them high-lights of your entertainment during their own down-time from what they're doing.

Moods for Dining

Never serve a meal to someone in front of a computer it only drives a deeper wedge between them and you. A light snack can be served but you should have one too and be participating in conversation. It can even be about what they are doing on the computer if need be.

I've been in homes where they have eliminated the dinning table and only eat in front of the TV. If you have one of these homes, get something to use for a table and make it as attractive as possible. If it's not nice put importance on it anyway with the hope of eventually getting one of your choice. It is the centerpiece of your home where people gather. A place where God's power can work to bring a family close.

Work up to the point that at least five meals a week are eaten at the table. Get everything ready. Plan it so it's ready between programs or whatever their doing on the computer, so they don't get angry and spoil the atmosphere for the meal. Give then 10 to 20 minutes notice so they can plan to be done. As they get used to your schedule you can ask for help to prepare dinner. You start by praying and blessing the food. Don't make it too long as to provoke anyone. After six or seven weeks, once in a while begin to ask the other's if they will say the blessing. If you're not used to praying, practice, practice and practice again so you're not repetitive. Your example is the best way to teach them how to pray; so be prepared, pray from your heart and make the most of this opportunity. You must be comfortable with the changes you are making in your family so watch them closely to see their response, both body language and verbally . If they rebel against your changes don't argue with them, pray for them. Be kind and strong while you continue with your routine. Be patient while God adjusts their thinking.

Steps After Each Lesson Is Prepared

1. Prepare the environment for the lesson. At first it may be hard to squeeze a lesson in if they're not used to giving you any of their time. Look for places like: while washing or grooming in the bathroom, during a snack, riding in the car or before bedtime. You may even see something they are watching on TV and during a commercial relate to it in a godly way. Gradually move to more stable environments with longer lessons.

2. Visuals are always good. As I mentioned above, biblical pictures can be found on the internet, on calendars and from many books. Try to find some that pertain to the moral of your story.

Example: If you're talking about God supplying your needs in this time of hardship. These are good visuals for your story:

Birds feed Elijah by the brook during a drought. 1 Kings 17:1-6

Elijah and the Zarephath widow's miraculous food supply. (1 Kings 17: 7-16)

The Shunammite widow gets miracle oil. (2 Kings 4:1-7)

Here are three if you need a physical miracle or healing:

The Zarephath widow's son is restored to life. (1 Kings 17: -17-24)

The Shunammite's son is restored to life. (2 Kings 4:8-37)

At the Pool of Bethesda, Jesus heals the man who was invalid for 38 years. (John 5:1-9)

If it's awkward for you to show pictures use the sharing attitude, saying something like, "Look what I found while researching help for my back pain. The Bible says that by the strips of Jesus we were healed. Surly God will help me.

If you want a new dress for a special occasion you can use a picture of a dress like one you might want. Post it on the refrigerator with a scripture under it, something like:

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

There are many things you can do to stir up faith in yourself, as well as in your loved ones.

3. Play soft background music. You may have to start with classical or even easy listening before you can introduce Christian music during a lesson. Music is relaxing and softens the heart of a person so the Word of God can drop in. If the person is distracted by the music turn it down or off. Set the mood with whatever it takes to prepare them for the spirit of the lord to move.

4. Have drinks, tissues etc. available; so the Spirit of the Lord is not disturbed if either of you have a personal need during the lesson. Expect God to move in the heart of that person at anytime.

5. Pray and practice before you approach your loved one. The more natural you present yourself, even though you've never done this before, the less intimidated they will be. Your confidence, pushes demonic power out of the way and creates an atmosphere that makes it easier for them to receive from God.

6. Prepare for their reaction. Remember you are penetrating a barrier that satanic forces have set up. It's your perseverance and determination that will set your loved one free. If they want to argue, DON'T! Keep your voice low and use loving words. Sweetness gets you through a rage, but harshness builds a thick wall.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Apologies work to soften a heart. You can apologize even if you haven't done anything wrong. It's a good way to defuse the moment and teaches them how to apologize. You know how your loved one acts when they're angry so practice your apologies.

Examples: I'm sorry you're so upset. I just thought you'd like my story.
I'm sorry. I never would have said anything if I thought it would upset you like this. It's just that I love you and thought you should know.

Finally As You See Changes

Assess each situation and pray for clarity. Sometimes it's like the person is growing one step closer to the Lord and then retreating two steps; don't stop your lessons the Holy Spirit is doing his work. Appreciate whatever progress they are making and stay in prayer and with thanksgiving praise God for what he is doing and going to do in your loved one's life.

Look for the root of the problem areas, especially new ones. Why and when they started acting the way they do? Pay attention to how it's affecting them mentally, physically and emotionally. If the root can be resolved then the problem has no reason to exist any longer.

Example: A child I once knew would be mild natured for weeks, then all of a sudden became angry, stubborn, even violent. Each time this happened his mother and I would assess the situation and events in the past. It most always started with what the child thought was an unfair treatment from the unsaved father. She would discuss it with the father, who by this time was holding a grudge because of the son's actions. She encouraged her husband to apologize (something he had to learn to do) and every time he did the child would change instantly. This process was used many times teaching both father and son how to treat each other. Eventually the father received salvation.

Pray for your loved one because God knows everything about everybody. He will guide you in the right directions to help them as you continue your mission through each day. It's good to get to a point where you can plan two or three lessons in advance. Then you can give them when opportunity arises.

Look everywhere for lessons and eventually begin to pull scriptures out of the Bible just to share. Book stores, as well as the internet, can be a big help for material. Look for trivia books, books with short stories or short testimonies of personal experiences. I have lots of little books with stories that are just a few paragraphs and two books with stories that will get the attention of even the worst opponent of God. I start with, "Did you know this is in the Bible" then I tell them something from "Weird Gross Bible Stuff" and "Bible Heroes & Bad Guys" and then relate something uplifting or good about God. If possible it also allows you the opportunity to actually look up the scripture with your loved one. This is a good time to show them how to look up books, chapters and scriptures. You should have a Concordance. A small paperback will do. Then as they watch you look things up they will get more comfortable with the process. There is so much material you can draw from in order to get your loved one's attention. The effort in preparing your lessons will set them on the right tracks, one for a better relationship with you and the other for eternal heaven.

You may ask why should I spend all this time and effort in helping someone else when I could just separate from them? We chose that person to be part of our life. We have a measure of responsibility for their well-being. Everyone needs to be ready for the Rapture. It's our only escape from the plagues that will come upon the earth durning the seven year tribulation period. The plagues in that time will be just as real as the flood in Noah's day or on the Egyptians when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt. God has designed those plagues to be more destructive than ever before. They will torment and kill thousands of people around the world, but God has warned us of his plan and has made a way of escape. There is coming a time when God's patience will be finished with men and women who choose sin over the provision of salvation that Jesus made through his sacrifice. We must help as many people as possible to escape, especially our loved ones.

Luke 21:36 Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."

God always does what he says he will do and when we stand before God we want to be found with a clear conscience that we did all that we could do for those who were part of our life.

To find out what will happen to earth after the Rapture see this overview: The Rapture and Seven Years Of Tribulation - The Future Of The Earth

You may also want to read these previous articles to gain more insight to reaching your loved one for the Lord:

Love That Builds Great Relationships

How Do We Get God's Love Working Through Other People?

Building A Foundation Strong Enough To Help Others